Monthly Meme - The AITAs of March

[pumpkinhollow]

BEWARE THE AITAS

C

ry havoc, and let slip the hounds of war interpersonal conflict! In this month's mingle, spin us a yarn of drama, suspense, romance, or petty arguments. Submit the tale for judgement to the court of public opinion, in pursuit of the answer to one all-important question--- "Am I the asshole?" You may defend yourself, but ultimately it is up to your neighbors to decide your fate.

Unlike other public forums, we don't have any rules about fake stories, validation posts, excessive arguments in the comments, or stabbing the emperor. Fudge details to your heart's content, but don't be surprised if the other people involve in the story jump in with a counter-argument. To vote, here is a glossary of important shorthand:

• OP - "Original poster", the person who submitted the story
• YTA - "You're the Asshole," for when the OP is the primary wrongdoer
• NTA - "Not the Asshole," for when the OP is the one who was wronged
• NAH - "No Assholes Here," for when no one is technically in the wrong, the conflict was simply a misunderstanding
• ESH - "Everyone Sucks Here," for when all parties are in the wrong and all of you should be ashamed of yourselves
• JAH - "Justified Asshole," for when OP is definitely an asshole, but for good reason
• INFO - "Information," for when the story is too vague to make a decision, usually followed by a question

Stories should include the OP's name in brackets and then a punchy title in the subject line. Additionally, you may use [ANONYMOUS] in place of your name--- this will allow players to know who OP is, but the characters will not know. Have fun!

Comments

QUESTIONS/COMMENTS/CONCERNS

[pumpkinhollow]

[ANONYMOUS] AITA for throwing things at and ignoring my ex?

[thethirteenthchild]

I (20sF) just got out of a relationship with my former boyfriend (30sM) of roughly 6 months. Over the winter, we got into a really ridiculous argument. For the sake of both our privacy, I'd prefer to sum up the incident rather than give out all the details. He overstepped a boundary, I reacted very strongly, and he ended up leaving our home entirely when the conversation ended. He knew I wasn't physically capable of chasing after him, so I had no choice but to let him go. A few days later, he approached me in public and laid into me about the incident before disappearing entirely.

A few weeks ago, my ex did actually come back and apologize. I tried to talk to him again, even going so far as to give him some more background on why I reacted the way I did by divulging vulnerable personal trauma. This didn't go well either, as he ended up reacting very strongly to the things I told him and carrying on about "saving" me. Eventually I asked him to leave, which he pushed back on, saying he wouldn't go unless I explicitly said in so many words that I didn't want to see or speak to him. In the end, I ended up snapping and throwing a full wine bottle at him.

Since then he has tried in a few ways to get my attention, all of which I've ignored. I don't think I was necessarily think I was in the wrong for feeling how I felt, so I'm not really asking about that--- but I do feel bad about blowing him off, and for throwing things at him, especially such a heavy object that could have potentially really hurt him. I wonder if doing these things makes me a cruel person.

{Anonymous} AITA for Cursing Someone Who Hurt Me?

[redlightgreenlight]

I [20s(?)F] encountered this individual in another realm and we just so happened to end up in the same place again. I didn't know him well, but apparently he met and made a pact with a Goddess who had taken over my body in exchange for my soul. Later he killed me and carved demonic runes on my heart to take control. However, apparently the goddess was lying and instead I was left to suffer until she was able to take control again. I don't know what would have happened if a more powerful entity hadn't removed her influence completely.

He said he felt bad, but his actions don't show it as he continues to be self righteous in his regret and has failed to offer a sincere apology. He implied that a fair trade for his offense would be for me to kill him. I didn't want to kill him because I felt that was letting him off easy. I know men like him and he would consider the debt repaid and go on to commit similar offenses. I told him he could live with the regret and that every time he sees me he will remember what he did and that I showed mercy when I didn't have to. He was pretty upset and left shortly afterward.

I should note that his actions essentially led to the destruction of the entire realm we both came from and I thought I had lost everyone I cared about for weeks due to his actions.

I've considered that I might be wrong for not taking my revenge and being done with it, but I really feel like he needs to properly atone for his wrongdoings.

[restingslasherface]

NTA

Consider seeking restitution in ritual combat. Wait. What is the code duello here...

[redlightgreenlight]

NTA.

This boy doesn't respect your boundaries and tried to force you to say things you didn't want to say. He may have thought it was romantic or maybe even cute, but it only shows his immaturity. He's treating you as if you are something to be won back, not as a person with her own feelings and rights. Men like to call out emotional women when it's really that they won't take 'no' for an answer. He's stubborn and needs to let go. There's nothing cute about how he's acting and I'm especially appalled at how he thinks he need to 'save' you, that tells me he has a hero complex or again, sees you as something to win or 'fix'. If he's really sorry, he will give you the space you need without trying to worm his way back into your life.

[skeletonkeay]

INFO - What was the curse? Or was it just the curse of regret?

[redlightgreenlight]

Curse of regret/knowledge ect. Not an actual spell of any kind.

[skeletonkeay]

NTA, queen shit.

[tisnotthehouse]

YTA to yourself, for not cracking his skull open. I suggest you begin practicing your aim in private, so that the next time someone behaves so poorly towards you you will be able to seek effective restitution immediately.

[ANONYMOUS] AITA For Dating A Married Woman

[restingslasherface]

I (Age Unknown, Presumed 20-25, NB) had the incredible fortune to enter into a relationship with a partner (??????F) who came off the ferry. She has made my life better in almost every way that I care to litigate, and I adore her. At the time we entered into a relationship I knew but didn't quite understand that she has a partner (AGE AND GENDER UNKNOWN) at her home, to whom she intends to return. Similarly, at the time she did not understand that she is polyamorous, and that revelation was one of the foundations of our relationship! But as time passes I grow concerned for her partner from home, who has had no opportunity to learn about or give input to our relationship. My partner very much wishes for me to return to her home with her, and I would like to go, but what of her spouse? Are they expected to simply accept me on her say-so, or to react positively to this development? AITA, and if so how can I make it right?

[anonymous] AITA for inducing a mental breakdown in a colonel?

[notinflictthem]

I (29 M Handsome) had the misfortune of meeting a particular colonel who had a reputation for getting his men killed for practically no reason. So a couple of buddies and I pulled some old faithfuls to get him to question his sense of reality. You know, tent swapping, the 'suddenly appearing glass of milk', convincing him that my incredibly conservative bunk-mate was coming onto him, convincing my conservative bunk-mate's girlfriend to come onto the colonel, standard stuff. Eventually he cracked like a nut and got shipped off somewhere far from the front and we didn't have to clean up any of his messes again.

Honestly I'm fine being the asshole here, it was worth it.

AITA For Convincing My Brother He Was A Dog

[crushed_pearls]

I (43? 44? F) learned that my adopted younger sibling (fuck if I know, 28ish M?) had recently gained the ability to turn into a dog when he came to me for help with turning back, having absolutely no fucking idea what had caused it or how to control it. Here's the thing: he didn't seem to know that he was still speaking English, and I saw a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, which I seized to convince him to do several dog tricks. And he did them! He sat! He shook hands with his lil' paw! Growing more and more distressed as I seemed to not understand him! And then at the end for the final trick I said "Realize you're speaking English!" and he was indeed Quite Upset. I was able to point him to someone else for successful advice on turning back into a human. AITA?

[skeletonkeay]

JAH, kinda fucked up but it seems like everyone benefited from it. Including him, tbh. No more front lines.

[redlightgreenlight]

I love a little chaos when it's for a good cause.

NTA

[anon] AITA for returning to my home country at an unideal time?

[inaurate]

I (20sM) am biracial and have citizenry (and inherited responsibilities) in both countries of my parents' origin. I was primarily raised in one, but have been living in the other for the past 6-7 years. During that time, I made friends that I unfortunately had to lead into a continent-wide conflict. It's a long story, but eventually we won.

Admittedly, things were still an enormous mess there, but certain responsibilities from the other side of the border were demanding my presence. If I wanted to keep at the goals I've been working towards my entire life, I couldn't put off going back to my other home any longer. I did everything I could to set my friends up for success, and I know I can trust them to pull things together, but I can't help feeling like I foisted my own responsibilities onto them by not sticking around. But on the other hand, they have frequently told me to rely on them more! This might be a bit much, though. So, AITA?

[redlightgreenlight]

I have zero bias and YTA for gaslighting someone for your own amusement.

[thelatechrisfreeman]

YTA but hopefully apologizing will make up for it.

[ANON] AITA for staying out of it?

[skeletonkeay]

Ages and genders not included because I don't wanna.

So you know how Calloway sells stuff that actually belongs to people? Like he finds it in the woods or the sea or whatever and upcharges you to hell and back to buy your own shit? Well, a friend of mine bought something that belonged to my partner. Something kind of sensitive. I was gonna get it for them, but I went in the shop and found it gone and then later I saw it at my friend's house. I didn't realize that my friend was planning on giving it back and just kinda flipped out, and there was a stupid blow-up about it. I threatened to hit them, they mind-controlled me, it was dumb.

Since then we've made up but I had told my partner my version of things which was. Incomplete. So now they're still really pissed at my friend. I've encouraged my friend to reach out and it doesn't seem to be working? I dunno what was said, I've insisted that it's between the two of them and stayed in my lane. I don't wanna push my partner's buttons. But I kinda wonder if I should step in since the misinformation is my own stupid fault. AITA?

[redlightgreenlight]

The mind control is concerning and we would need more details on that before we can judge the actions of your friend, but YTA for jumping to assumptions about your friend without giving them the chance to explain and for letting your partner believe the incomplete version of the story.

It's on you to make it right since the misunderstanding is on your shoulders.

[inaurate]

NAH

Ideally the other partner should get a say, but in this unusual case where lines of communication are impossible and there is no way to know when they will see each other again, I think your best bet is to trust your partner to have a better idea of how her spouse will react than you do. I think it's a good mark of your character that you're worrying about it, though, and bodes well for when you do finally meet them.

[inaurate]

JAH

Removing someone like that from command does everyone good.

[ANON] AITA for bringing a monster along without telling my party?

[gruesomegourmand]

I (26M) have been in a little bit of hot water with my adventuring party for bringing a pet along with us for the adventure. For context, "monsters" are often just like animals, but they're sustained on magical energy and spirits instead of most usual foods.

My party and I have very different opinions on what a "good" or "bad" monster pet or comrade means, and have since the first day that we started adventuring together. I think that there's no such thing as a "bad" addition to a home, barring diverse care, enclosures, nutrition, and everything along those lines. In a perfect world, I think that some of the most monsters in the world can live beside people with careful harmony. My party doesn't agree, and thinks some things just shouldn't be kept, eaten, or interacted with, varying what they disagree with on species. (This is very broad, but it applies to a wide variety of monsters, so bear with me.)

This is where I may be the asshole, though. During our adventure, I came into a weapon containing a monster that, on it's own, was harmless. In fact, it was incredibly helpful! It let us know there was danger before we could see it, and required very little care to keep it happy and healthy.

One incident came, however, where instead of just alerting me to the present danger, it attempted to escape. This is how one of my party members (29M) found out it was alive, and not just an object. Angry would be an understatement, and he used at least two dozen words in his native language to insult me in ways I couldn't comprehend.

I felt like I had to hide it, since they wouldn't have been accepting of it, no matter how useful it was to us, and how many times it saved our lives. He didn't agree, since it seriously endangered us when we really needed something to defend ourselves with. AITA for hiding it from them?

[abhorrently]

NTA.

Sometimes you need to escalate when a person can't understand they need to go. Especially if he decided to cause a scene in public, humiliating you. If he wants your attention, he needs to be willing to give it on your terms.

Hopefully it wasn't a very valuable bottle you couldn't replace.

[abhorrently]

INFO

How did you not understand her being married? It's a bit of a binary thing.

[abhorrently]

NTA.

Sometimes the best knife for the job is the one you leave sheathed in their mind. Death's too easy when it doesn't stick.