Monthly Meme - The AITAs of March

[pumpkinhollow]

BEWARE THE AITAS

C

ry havoc, and let slip the hounds of war interpersonal conflict! In this month's mingle, spin us a yarn of drama, suspense, romance, or petty arguments. Submit the tale for judgement to the court of public opinion, in pursuit of the answer to one all-important question--- "Am I the asshole?" You may defend yourself, but ultimately it is up to your neighbors to decide your fate.

Unlike other public forums, we don't have any rules about fake stories, validation posts, excessive arguments in the comments, or stabbing the emperor. Fudge details to your heart's content, but don't be surprised if the other people involve in the story jump in with a counter-argument. To vote, here is a glossary of important shorthand:

• OP - "Original poster", the person who submitted the story
• YTA - "You're the Asshole," for when the OP is the primary wrongdoer
• NTA - "Not the Asshole," for when the OP is the one who was wronged
• NAH - "No Assholes Here," for when no one is technically in the wrong, the conflict was simply a misunderstanding
• ESH - "Everyone Sucks Here," for when all parties are in the wrong and all of you should be ashamed of yourselves
• JAH - "Justified Asshole," for when OP is definitely an asshole, but for good reason
• INFO - "Information," for when the story is too vague to make a decision, usually followed by a question

Stories should include the OP's name in brackets and then a punchy title in the subject line. Additionally, you may use [ANONYMOUS] in place of your name--- this will allow players to know who OP is, but the characters will not know. Have fun!

Comments

[anon] AITA for returning to my home country at an unideal time?

[inaurate]

I (20sM) am biracial and have citizenry (and inherited responsibilities) in both countries of my parents' origin. I was primarily raised in one, but have been living in the other for the past 6-7 years. During that time, I made friends that I unfortunately had to lead into a continent-wide conflict. It's a long story, but eventually we won.

Admittedly, things were still an enormous mess there, but certain responsibilities from the other side of the border were demanding my presence. If I wanted to keep at the goals I've been working towards my entire life, I couldn't put off going back to my other home any longer. I did everything I could to set my friends up for success, and I know I can trust them to pull things together, but I can't help feeling like I foisted my own responsibilities onto them by not sticking around. But on the other hand, they have frequently told me to rely on them more! This might be a bit much, though. So, AITA?

[redlightgreenlight]

Your friends have told you they can handle it, if you trusted them to watch your back on the battlefield why can't you trust them to bring peace after the war? Seems to me you need to swallow a little pride and figure out that it's not your job to save everyone. So aside from the aggravating hero-complex you seem to have, NTA.

If your home country needed you more than the one you had been residing in, and you left the rebuilding in good hands, you were justified in returning to your homeland to resolve the conflicts there. Besides, nothing says you can't return to your friends someday when both nations are at peace. Trust your friends.

[inaurate]

Yeah, I'll accept that judgement with a caveat.

[redlightgreenlight]

What caveat?

[inaurate]

The aggravating hero-complex, of course!

[redlightgreenlight]

Agree to disagree

[inaurate]

Sorry, that was a bit unclear. I meant I was accepting the whole judgement, along with your caveat that my hero-complex makes me an asshole!

[redlightgreenlight]

Well, I have respect for you for admitting it. Earns you a few points in my book.

[gruesomegourmand]

NTA. It's hard to rely on other people, when you've got as many responsibilities as it sounds like you have, but your friends want to help you! If they need you, I'm sure they'll tell you. You also said you couldn't put it off any longer, so it sounds like your hands were pretty tied. Go easier on yourself.

[inaurate]

Does it change the judgement at all if they don't necessarily have a way to contact me, at least for a while? I mean, outside of me ending up here. Obviously that part's not my fault.

anon

[astrogator]

NTA. Commanders have to prioritise and delegate. You can't be everywhere and do everything at once! Real friends will understand that it's a matter of duty, and not take it personally.

[inaurate]

But I can try!

No, you're right. Delegation is a skill I am still figuring out.

[astrogator]

Believe me, I understand the urge. Except sometimes it's better to do fewer things well than spread yourself too thin. From what you've said it doesn't seem like you're going far wrong.