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ph_memes2025-01-09 11:09 pm
TDM #9 - The Weather Outside is Frightful [FIRST REPRINT]
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Pumpkin Hollow Gazette
12/13/24 | TDM #9 - The Weather Outside is Frightful [First Reprint]
WELCOME TO PUMPKIN HOLLOW
By Yorick Aberdeen
The crop for which the town is named.
Hello and welcome, one and all! As time marches on and the ferry continues bringing newcomers to our fair land, we start our newest edition of the Pumpkin Hollow Gazette with a warm welcome to anyone who has just made landfall in our accursed but cozy little town. It’s winter, which can be a challenging time of year for a secluded place like Pumpkin Hollow, but you’ll also be able to join us for beloved traditions such as Merrymeet! Local experts have also reported to the Pumpkin Hollow Safety Board that we should be in for perfectly normal and utterly harmless auroras this winter, barring any complications. The night sky will most likely not try to kill you this year. What luck!
We invite you, as with all those who came before you, to enjoy your stay at the Oak & Iron tavern inn while you settle in. Please stop by Town Hall to discuss opportunities for work and more permanent housing! All newcomers get 100 Brass in their pocket upon arrival as well, so we encourage you to take advantage of this as well. Reach out to your neighbors for help if you need it, and don’t forget to pick up your copy of the Pumpkin Hollow Gazette whenever you need the local news!
WINTER WEATHER REPORT
By Phil Connors
The Paring River looks gorgeous this time of year.
Wrap up in those winter cloaks, plug those drafts, and stock up on the oil and wood. It's frost season, and it's only getting colder from here. These nights will be the longest nights. Keep your toes warm and your rooftops clean; when we get snow, we're getting inches of it. The end of the season will get a little warmer, but prone to temperature drops and refreezes, and the wind will still be just as chilly. There will be ice all season long, so be careful on the streets, because there won't be any wet floor signs to warn you. Because it's ice.
Snowfall means roads blocked, and roads blocked means roads need clearing! Town Hall is recruiting volunteers to help shovel the walkways in public spaces. Shovels not mandatory for those of you with powers that can clear snow, or perhaps a machine like a snowplow, or perhaps machine snowplow powers. (No heat-melting allowed; we're not making a skating rink here.) Inquire at Town Hall to sign up!
WINTER ACTIVITIES AROUND TOWN
By Timothy Stoker
Speaking of snow, it turns out shoveling and falling face-first into a mound of snow on your way to market aren’t the only things you can do with all this fluffy white stuff falling out of the sky! All throughout town, there’ll be opportunities to take advantage of this weather’s unique charms all winter long.
The Safety Board is happy to report that several of the lakes and ponds around town are now thick enough to ice skate on. Ice skate rentals will be available at the Oak & Iron for 5 Brass a day. You’ll find that the safe places to skate are marked with a notice from the Safety Board, so make sure you check, unless falling through the ice sounds like your idea of fun! One of the safe locations, to the shock of everyone involved, is Lake Sal-Co-Penn, so take this opportunity to enjoy its scenic location while it’s completely free of horrible visions of dead loved ones. Just don’t look too hard at what’s in the water under the ice.
Additionally, check out the Winter Market all season long on Main Street. It’s a great place to check out deals on artisanal crafts and will also feature baking, cooking, and crafting contests of various kinds every weekend from now till the end of February. Grab some hot cider or cocoa at the refreshment booth, and consider taking a friend or date on one of the horse drawn sleigh rides available.
And last but certainly not least, head on out to the farmlands in Northwest Hollow to take part in the Neighborhood Sanctioned Snowball War. No sense letting those big plots of land sit empty all season! If you enjoy frozen architecture, have applicable tactical experience, or just want to throw stuff at other people, the Snowball War is the place for you.
TOWNSFOLK BEWARE - SNOWSTORMS MAY HOLD SINISTER SECRETS
By Yorick Aberdeen
Friend or foe?
Stay alert during inclement weather, neighbors--- and not just because of the fall risk! Locals particularly around the Prague Mill and Bluffs area have been reporting that, during low-visibility snowstorms, insidious-looking figures have been appearing in the snow.
It’s unclear what exactly these mysterious figures might be, lurking in the roiling blizzards throughout town, but they’ve been known to vary in size and in shape. Tread with care when the weather begins to turn, and keep your lanterns lit!
CHOCOLATE CURSE DEEMED UNLAWFUL AND UNSAFE
By Cecil Gershwin Palmer
A most dastardly dessert, indeed.
Town Hall would like to remind all citizens and denizens of Marrow Island that chocolate is not on the list of approved construction materials for buildings zoned for residential, commercial or farming purposes. Whoever is turning local homes and other buildings into chocolate, complete with candy decorations, is asked to put it back, and not coaxingly, like when you try to get a cat to come down from the ceiling fan, but demandingly, like when you’re telling a dog to spit out the clearly-not-food item they have in their mouth. No, stop chewing. Do NOT swallow that! Come here, spit it out!
Local candymaker, Ambrose Macarius, had this to say on the matter: “I worry a bit, you know, that with the abundance of candy made available with this chocolate house hoo-hah, that no one’s going to come visit my shop for the stuff I make by hand. I don’t use magic in the candy, you know?” Meanwhile, local ice cream parlor Gourd En Glace is selling a chocolate-covered strawberry sundae to commemorate the occasion.
Citizens are advised to be particularly careful with heat in chocolate buildings for the time being, until this matter is resolved.
LOCALS ENJOY "TUNNEL OF LOVE" BOAT RIDES IN SPITE OF APPARENT SAFETY CONCERNS
By Timothy Stoker
An artist's rendition of the incredible view!
A mysterious tunnel underneath the bridge, which apparently does not continue to the other side by some magic or other, has appeared on the northmost part of the Paring River near Hatchet Lake. There are a number of small boats moored to trees near the aptly named Knotter's Rock that apparently appear on their own and signage stating their intended purpose--- which is to be rowed into the "Tunnel of Love".
Locals who have experimented with the tunnel (including this reporter and his beautiful wife Sasha) have reported that the tunnel itself seems safe, and is appropriate for both romantic and platonic quality time. Each visitor seems to get a personalized experience featuring beautiful icy views to start and leading into the perfect scenery and occasionally even a dock to stop at for the ideal outing. The main problem is that there is no way back the way you came. The tunnel inexplicably closes its entrance once you're past it. Thus, the only way out is forward. This wouldn't be a problem if the exit were not also weird magic-- because of course it is-- which causes innocent tunnel enjoyers such as myself to be spat out someplace ridiculous and inconvenient. Anyone looking to spend some time in the "Tunnel of Love" should do so with caution, and at their own risk!
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Winter Fun!
The bit about Lake Sal-Co-Penn is mostly a joke and it is genuinely safe to ice skate there. However, if you would like to do something spooky with it, feel free! It is functionally SCP-2316 but frozen. You can have a totally safe visit or a terrible one, your choice!
The costs of hot cocoa/cider and sleigh rides are negligible, don’t worry about taking them out of your Brass. Winter clothing sets cost between 100-300 Brass depending on its complexity, and pricing at the Winter Market will be comparable to the normal pricing we have on items. To avoid an absolute onslaught of price check questions, we’re more than happy to let you use your best judgement on pricing for Winter Market items based on previous pricing. Our Buyer’s Guide and this simplified Pricing Menu are great resources! Existing characters can modify their ledgers without mod approval, and new characters can wait until they app in to worry about it. Givingstide, our winter gift exchange holiday, takes place at the end of December, but the market will be open all through the Winter! There'll just be some adjustments to the vibe as the year progresses.
The Snowball War will be centralized around Cèsar Salazar’s farm, per the player’s request, but the whole farmland area of Northwest Hollow is free game. Have fun!
Shapes in the Snow
We give you the winter gift of creative liberty for this one! Rather than have a set creature or person lurking in the blizzard, you can have whatever you like! It can be an existing monster like the Tristitia, a Brutok, or the River Walker. It can be an eerie doppelganger of someone from your home world. It can be an opening for another player character or an Infernal Servant. It could even be a creature you make up! If you make an excellent monster, we’d love to incorporate it into the game’s canon! But whether you’re looking to have a run-in with the Pine Devil, you’ve devised a new menace to stalk our fair town, or you’re about to attack your neighbor who has innocently come to ask for a cup of sugar, remember that communication is key and feel free to get as weird with it as you like.
Gingerbread Chocolate Curse
The chocolate curse is pretty self-explanatory and is basically exactly what it seems. That one witch who turned all our crops into turnips that time probably did it. Chocolate buildings can appear fully formed or gradually transform over time, or just take up chunks of your home or workplace. They will eventually change back on their own (the timeframe in which this happens is up to you) but if the cookie gets softened by liquids or eaten, the architecture may come back looking a little funny. Good luck!
Tunnel of Love
The Tunnel of Love can be found under the northmost bridge along the Paring River on the side facing Hatchet Lake (see the map for a better idea), and is invisible from the other side of the bridge. It can be accessed using the little boats moored all over the lake, of which there are dozens of any imaginable size and style. Once inside, the entrance will close as promised! However, there will be gorgeous scenic icy views followed by a special cave that contains the magical means to have your perfect date! (Or platonic outing.) This includes setting-inappropriate activities with modern technology. It's magic, and it's self-contained, so have fun!
Nothing can be removed from the tunnel, as anything taken will simply vanish upon exiting, and your boat will be shunted into one of six random locations. Roll a D6 to test your luck, or simply pick your favorite! The options are as follows:
1. A random lake in Paradesium, the underground tropical jungle beneath Crane's Ridge
2. The middle of the godsforsaken ocean (still within the barrier)
3. Right above Ripjaw Falls
4. Skidding across a frozen Lake Sal-Co-Penn and being hurled into a snow bank
5. The hot springs on the Western side of the mountains
6. The fountain in the middle of town
Perfect for a date, a friend, a budding romance, taking the kids out for a day of fun, or some random stranger you just met. Embrace the chaos and have fun!
no subject
"You don't have to worry about me." That's code for 'this is the warmest outfit I have babey!!' Is he as bundled up as he should be? Perhaps not. Is that going to change? Not tonight.
But whatever, he's not worried about it. He goes stomping off into the snow and returns momentarily with the shovel in hand.
"Anything I should know?"
Off-limits houses, recent snow monster sightings, etc. Never hurts to ask.
no subject
Well. That's mildly morbid.
no subject
One might think he's implying he's like, I don't know, Ice Man the X-Man Mutant Ice Power Dude or something, some dude with fancy ice resistance. But no. He's just a normal guy who's slightly underdressed for the snow who just really isn't all that worried about freezing to death.
"I'm James, by the way. James Sunderland."