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ph_memes2023-06-07 02:56 pm
TDM #1 - The Vengeful Forest
Pumpkin Hollow Gazette
6/7/23 | TDM #1: "The Vengeful Forest"
Content Warnings: body horror mentioned, article 2
A typical view from Jack's Marina
FIRST NEW ARRIVALS IN HALF-DECADE: MORE TO FOLLOW?
By Yorick Aberdeen
TAWNY BEACH - Big news at Jack’s Marina--- for the first time in roughly five years, the Marrow Isle Port Authority has reported a new arrival by ferry. And it’s not just one person.
Since the advent of the Barrier that has plagued our fair island for the past 5 years, no transport vessels have been logged for departure or arrival by the Port Authority. And for good reason! Any boat that attempted to make the journey beyond the blackened waters surrounding the island has met with a terrible fate ranging from property destruction to untimely demise. While said casualties don’t quite carry the sting they used to, the situation has obviously proven less than ideal for those looking to leave and ultimately halted the mass exodus from Pumpkin Hollow indefinitely.
Today, for the first time since the formation of the Barrier, we are seeing brand new faces arrive at the docks. All of them have been somewhat disoriented and some have claimed to be from locations that do not exist in our world. We approached one of these new arrivals, Milo Fields, for comment on his experience.
“A lady in an office told me I was dead and then I woke up on a boat,” Fields, 26, was quoted as stating on the matter. Succinct and fascinating, indeed! It would seem that for once, our island’s propensity for supernatural oddities has brought us something that we can be hopeful about. More on this as it develops.
‘CREEPY LITTLE TREES’ SEEN IN TOWN
By Yorick Aberdeen
Artist rendition of a "Brutok".
NORTHWEST HOLLOW (Prague Mills) - This morning Town Hall received a report from the road by the lumber mill, which leads out to Crane’s Ridge, that there have been more sightings of the “tiny tree people” that have been appearing around Lockwood Forest. Over the past few weeks there have been multiple sightings of short-statured creatures with gnarled limbs, bark complexions, and leaf-shaped masks moving about among the trees. There have also been several reports claiming that they have been in town. These reports are particularly prominent in areas toward the outskirts of the forest such as the aforementioned Prague Mills.
However, movement is not the only activity people claim to have seen. Many of these sightings detail more insidious behaviors such as mean-spirited practical jokes, theft, and attempted kidnapping.
The Pumpkin Hollow Gazette reached out to local historian and town council member Dahlia Leeds for any insight on these creatures from her research.
“These creatures appear to be Brutoks,” Leeds, 23, concluded in her interview with us on Tuesday evening. “They’re angry woodland spirits known to appear in cursed forests, much like our own.”
Ms. Leeds went on to issue a number of safety warnings for residents. According to her research, these Brutoks often move in groups and will lock on to woodland travelers who make eye contact with them. Their eyes are not visible so this can be done by accident quite easily if one spends too much time staring into trees. If Brutoks attach themselves to you, they will follow you home, proceeding to destroy your property, hide your personal items, attempt to cause you bodily harm, tear up your garden, and eventually spirit you away to the woods. Victims of these kidnappings will be “planted” in the woods by the Brutoks and spend the next several hours enduring the deeply unpleasant process of being turned into a tree, ultimately killing the individual. A gruesome affair.
There are several ways to dispel a Brutok invasion before it escalates to kidnapping. Ms. Leeds recommends observing their behavior for clues and keeping an eye out for puzzles set by the creatures while outside, though there may be other solutions. If you are unable to dispel them, it is possible to fight them off with brute force. Those walking in or near the woods are advised to keep their eyes on the trail but listen carefully for sounds of distress and be prepared to intervene. Should you encounter any trees that look like people, Ms. Leeds has also cited the unfortunate need to burn the unsettling foliage in order to release the spirit of the victim so that they can regenerate as usual.
As always, the sharing of information and community vigilance are imperative in warding off this new threat. Please share any information you have on the message boards at town hall or with your neighbors, and consider reaching out to Ms. Leeds or any other respected community figure if you find yourself in a bind. Keep your lanterns lit, Pumpkin Hollow. We’re in for quite the summer.
CUCUMBER FESTIVAL CANCELED DUE TO UNFORTUNATE TURNIP HEX; REPLACED WITH POTLUCK
By Yorick Aberdeen
They haunt my dinner plate and my dreams.
DOWNTOWN (Temple of Sacred Roots) - In lighter news, a solution has been found to the much-loathed Turnip Hex debacle.
As most residents of Pumpkin Hollow are aware, earlier in spring a crop hex was placed on the island by an unidentified witch that turned all ground crops sown at the time into turnips. While this is not as bad as it could be, it has resulted in mounds upon mounds of turnips and a complete lack of other crops until later harvests. The witch who cast this hex is still at large.
An unfortunate side effect of the hex has been that the beloved and highly anticipated Cucumber Festival, which normally takes place in early June, had to be canceled due to a lack of cucumbers. This has earned the ire of a great many residents who have cited the festival as “their last source of a modicum of joy on this goddess-forsaken island”, among other more colorful statements.
Reverend Degas Clayton of the Temple of Sacred Roots of our Four Earthly Mothers has proposed an alternative to the festival. While not nearly as exciting, Clayton, 57, believes that a turnip potluck is still a great community-building exercise and excuse for a social gathering. He encourages attendees to find the most inventive ways they can think of to cook up excess turnips and present their dishes on the temple lawn during the party. “The sooner we eat the blasted things, the sooner we’ll no longer have to look at them anymore,” said Mayor Poe in her endorsement of the event. It would appear she plans to be in attendance.
To participate, please bring an appropriate dish to the Temple of Sacred Roots on Friday at noon. The party will run until sundown and wine will be provided, which may improve the taste of the turnips. New residents are encouraged to attend even if they are not able to provide a dish so that they can meet their local community and learn more about the church.
Link | The Legend of Zelda: BOTW/TOTK [OTA]
[ You'd think he'd be used to waking up not quite knowing what was going on by now, but it never seemed to get any less vexing.
Everything came as a bit of a blur. One minute, he was on a ship, surrounded by many people wearing similar expressions and clothing to his own. Then there was the dock, and the people filed out. (It, at the very least, wasn't a desolate wake-up call this time, and Link was thankful that much.)
Then came the tavern, and now, here he was, standing just outside of it. Fresh linens were nice, and the room he'd been given was cozy enough, but there was much of the town he'd need to understand the lay of. There was much to see, though, and with that came some indecision. Where to start? What to see first? Who to meet that might be able to fill in some of the gaps that his initial tour didn't quite get around to?
Unfortunately, when he'd decided to turn on a whim and march down the cobbled street towards whatever caught his eye first, he wasn't being quite as aware of his surroundings as he likely ought to have been, and tromped headlong straight into one of his new fellow denizens. Great going, hero. ]
-----
ii. Creepy Little Trees
[ Familiarity, what a beautiful thing, even when found in the strangest places!
From the second he caught eye of a brick out of place on a stack, Link was practically like a man possessed. Sure, there was no pleasant jingle, no rewards from delightful little forest friends, but the hollow-wood rattle in the distance was reward enough. These were puzzles, and he was bound and determined to solve them with a determination that blazed with a fiery enthusiasm.
An enthusiasm that was hilariously used to stack small stones in circles and right twigs that were askew, but an enthusiasm nonetheless.
From shortly after he woke up until the sun began to set, Link had scoured the town, finding every puzzle that he could get his hands on to solve, absolutely overjoyed in doing so.
Even now, as the sun set lazily on the horizon, was he sizing up a fairly large stone that was settled beside a building, eyeing it and the perfectly-stone-sized core of a tree just at the forest's edge. It was only then did he catch eye of an onlooker, and offered a smile their way, bright and brimming with energy. ]
"Hoy! Would you be willing to give me a hand with this? It's not too heavy, but it's a little unwieldy."
Puzzle Madness
no subject
Right over here! See the tree with the hole in it?
[ With a nod in the direction of the inconspicuous tree in question, and a glance down to make sure Milo was moving with him, he stepped forward, starting a slow-yet-steady walk towards the treeline. ]
Are you new here, too? You don't seem dressed like the others I've seen so far.
no subject
Yeah, actually. I just got here a couple days ago. Picked up farming. So far so good. How are you settling in? You look like you're kinda having fun.
no subject
Settling in hasn't been too bad. The inn is nice, and the people here are friendly, even if everything seems a little odd. The brutoks remind me a little bit of things we had back at home, though, so it's been helping me settle in. [ A pause with thought, and a curious look. ] How is farming going? It seems like it'd be complicated, trying to do it with an arm down.
no subject
no subject
[ He nodded towards his arm, in all it's strangeness. It lifted rocks just fine, though, so he could worry about the greater implications of it later, right? ]
They do, though! They were a type of little forest fairy. Not many people can see them, but if you can, they set up little puzzles all over the place, and give you seeds for solving them. These ones are a little more evil, but that's alright.
no subject
[ He chuckled at his own joke, then again at Link's description. ]
Yeah, these guys seem pretty evil. But this does kinda look like a puzzle, now that you mention it. [ He hoisted the rock a bit. ] Wanna see if this solves it?
no subject
[ Wasting little more time, he hoisted the rock as well, and with a final nod for confirmation, the two lifted it to the knot of the tree. The fit was so perfect it was almost uncanny, as if the rock was made for that specific hole, and as soon as it sank all the way into the space, Link perked up at the sound of the rattle that echoed from the woods, looking very pleased with himself. ]
There we go! Thank you for the help. [ He seemed to pause for a fleeting second, before raising his brows Milo's way, almost playfully. ] Are you doing anything right now?
no subject
I dunno about all that, but hey, I'm glad this worked! Hopefully someone's freshly Brutok-free. And no, I'm not busy, what's up?
no subject
no subject
Arrival!
in a lakein an equally strange room is a lot to digest all at once. Link's not the only one not paying full attention. The Medium bumps into him with equally force, arms pinwheeling to help keep his balance!
"W-woah! Geez!" He yelps as gravity wins the battle and he lands land on his butt. He grimaces, voice a tinny whine, "Oooow...sorry..."
no subject
Once he got his bearings on the ground, though, equally knocked onto his rear, he blinked, before letting out an embarrassed laugh, shifting to try to rise to his feet. ]
I didn't see you coming, I'm sorry! Are you okay?
sorry again for mobile html fail xD;
It takes a moment to get back on his feet, but Lucas dusts himself off just fine. "See? Right as rain. You good? I didn't mean to bump into you like that."
no worries!! i didn't even notice it! :D <3
I'm okay, I really need to make sure I'm watching where I'm going. I don't even really know my way around yet. Are you also from the ferries that came here?
no subject
"Yeah. Kind of weird, huh? Did you wake up in a room with a lady telling you what's going down?"
no subject
I'm still trying to make sense of a lot of it, but I'm trying to take it one step at a time. I know I'll figure out what I need to do here to go home once I find it. But it doesn't make it any less weird.
no subject
"What's back home like, for you? This place kind of reminds me of one of the older towns in my state, but...uh, minus the curse of course."
no subject
It was like this, but... spread out. We went through a few hundred-year end-of-the-world. We made it through, but any of the larger towns were destroyed with it.
What was your home like? Everyone here sounds so different from anything I've ever seen, so it seems like everyone came from very different places from Hyrule.
no subject
Now it's Lucas's turn to hmm and haw. "It's kind of like this place, but with more lights and like way more people. We got computers and like cars and stuff! Which makes it kind weird being here without a lot of it. Kind of like a vacation."
And very cursed.
"So, you looking for some place in particular? I kinda know my way around."
no subject
Hm... I'm not sure, actually. I'm mostly trying to get the lay of the land. [ He admitted. ] I've been meaning to take a look into the woods, but people seem nervous about that, so I've just been checking out nooks and crannies for now.
no subject
"Well, I've been out in the forest a few times. I'd definitely recommend going with a buddy, since the brutoks are out there and who knows what else. I'll go with you, if you're really curious."