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ph_memes2024-01-10 06:19 pm
TDM #4 - Aurora Borealis Blitz [FIRST EDITION]
[Find our plain text version here!]
Pumpkin Hollow Gazette
1/10/24 | TDM #4 - AURORA BOREALIS BLITZ"
Content Warnings: "Further Details" section has independent CW labels.
Forecast: Heavy snow
BREAKING! REBUILDING HELP REQUESTED
By Cecil Gershwin Palmer
A photo taken of the damage.
ACROSS PUMPKIN HOLLOW - City government is requesting aid with repairs to public buildings and local fixtures after the recent earthquakes on Tuesday, January 8th. While there was minimal damage to Town Hall itself, several important buildings sustained damage, including the Magpie National Bank, the South Train Station and the Clock Tower, which is now stuck with hands at 8pm.
Regarding the cause of the earthquake, local biologist Dr. Elias Coldwood was heard to say “There's never been seismic activity here.” And he’s a scientist, so he would know! But clearly this is no longer the case. Perhaps Pumpkin Hollow has a mysterious tiny civilization underground worshiping a destroyer god, planning to attack through the bowling alley, the moment we create a bowling alley. Perhaps not. More on this story as it unfolds, faithful readers.
In the meantime, volunteers to help with the damage to city buildings are invited to meet with Mayor Hellen Poe for assignments.
ANNUAL AURORA IN NORTHERN SKY
By Yorick Aberdeen
An artist's rendition of last year's view.
ABOVE MARROW ISLE - Midwinter is upon us! That means it’s the time of year when our skies light up with the technicolor gleam of the arctic north! Those looking northward between the hours of 10pm and 2am should be able to see beautiful curtains of bright green, blue, purple, and pink lighting up the sky above the island. If you plan to go outside to view the lights rather than looking from your window, please make sure you travel in a group and carry a lantern. May it be ever lit!
HOROSCOPES
By Cecil Gershwin Palmer
What do the stars say about you today?
Capricorn: Do you feel as if you’ve lost something? If not, it’s wise to double-check. Perhaps it’s not something like a button or a key, but your sense of wonder or your self-confidence. Remember, things tend to be in the last place you look.
Aquarius: Something about the year ending made you feel lighter, like taking off a heavy wool coat. Ride this burst of energy as far as it will take you, because the shiny of a fresh beginning tends to wear off quickly.
Pisces: Don’t worry, I don’t believe what everyone says behind your back. You’re not too sensitive or too naive. They’re just jealous. Really, most of the time when they’re whispering, it’s not even about you.
Aries: You’re the sort of warm individual that babies and animals are drawn to. Unfortunately, this may include hungry wolves and swarms of insects. But don’t let that bring you down! We need that sort of personality around here.
Taurus: There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be the best, until you work to stop others from also being the best. That’s called cheating and may lead to you being disqualified from competitions. If you get caught, that is.
Gemini: You know those riddles about the two guards, one who always tells the truth and one who always lies? Well, everyone hates those riddles with a passion. You’ll see for yourself, soon.
Cancer: Wouldn’t you like to know?
Leo: Your incandescent personality often makes you the center of attention. However, that’s not the only thing about you that glows. Moths may flock to you in the dark this week, and so might children afraid to sleep with the lights out.
Virgo: Be careful with your words–they aren’t just the precursors to your deeds, but the manifestation of your will. This is not a week for idioms and metaphors, not for you. Even something like bemoaning a lack of spoons may make eating cereal harder.
Libra: You are, inevitably, the first one heard to say a situation isn’t fair. And it’s not, nor will it ever be. Instead of getting upset, have you ever considered getting revenge? That’s usually more satisfying in the long run.
Scorpio: Ugh, Scorpios. The position of Venus means your usually volatile emotions will be in the doldrums instead. Enjoy this while it lasts I guess. Who knows if you’ll ever experience such peace again, given, well. You’re kind of an emotional mess and no one likes you.
Sagittarius: There will never be another day like today. You must strive to make the day everything you want it to be. No mistakes, now! Consider your choices very carefully. Consider your choice to consider, very carefully.
SUNFIRE'S HEARTH
By Yorick Aberdeen
A photo of Mayor Poe's cats, Toffee and Butter, enjoying the view.
ASSORTED LOCATIONS - As the coldest part of the year settles over our fair isle, it is time for Sunfire’s Hearth--- an informal celebration of bonfires and hearth flames, for those unfamiliar! For the months of January and February, a raised platform for bonfires will be lit on weekends, and restaurants and taverns across town will keep their fireplaces lit. Unlike many of our other festivities, there is no structured celebration--- simply make some time during this time to bask in the warmth of a fire! You can even celebrate at home.
An additional benefit of this time of year is that Merrymeet is well on its way. So take this time and get snuggly in front of a fire with your special person to get in the mood for romance! (Or they could be platonic snuggles. Whatever suits you best.)
LOCAL ALCHEMIST REPORTS MISSING POTION
By Yorick Aberdeen
Some of Mx. Sallek's usual stock. Could stand to have better labels./p>
LOCATION UNCERTAIN - Early Monday morning, local alchemist Aeryn Sallek reported that a large container of magical potion has been swapped with another, and it would seem that the mistaken jug has been sent out for delivery. According to Mx. Sallek, they sent a number of jugs out for delivery in a case with our local delivery extraordinaire, Sam Porter Bridges. The jugs were meant to contain a harmless, potable freeze-resistance potion for our town’s various water sources, in the interest of keeping water reserves drinkable in sub-freezing winter weather. However, when they returned to the shop, one of these potions remained on their counter while a love potion they’d been working on went missing.
“‘Love potion’ is kind of a misnomer, honestly,” Mx. Sallek is quoted to have said on the matter. “But ‘emotional acuity’ potion doesn’t quite roll off the tongue. Basically what it actually does is enhance existing romantic desire and embolden the user to be emotionally open. But Yorick should already know all this, since he’s the one who ordered it.” [Editing note: don’t forget to cut the last part of that comment before publishing. Cecil, you don’t need to include personal statements directed at reporters from these interviews!]
It’s unclear which area of town this particular potion ended up being injected into the water source, but according to Mx. Sallek, the potion was not particularly intense to begin with. It should be significantly diluted as to be harmless. Still, if you notice any strange symptoms such as butterflies in your stomach, a desire to burst into song, or inexplicable yearning, please file a report with the Safety Board at your earliest convenience.
FOOD SHORTAGES PUT STRAIN ON ISLAND ECONOMY
By Yorick Aberdeen
MARKET DISTRICT - While there are many things to celebrate this time of year, Marrow Isle is not without its adversity. Over these past months, many new members of our community have arrived by ferry after our numbers remained small and stagnant for many years. And the presence of our newfound neighbors has been a boon to all of us. Many artisans have opened useful businesses, medical professionals have expanded our access to healthcare, and a new fishing vessel has taken to the seas. However, despite a few additions, our farming community remains quite modest and planting was not planned with such incredible new growth in mind.
The unfortunate result of this is that food reserves on the island this year are uncharacteristically low. As such, Town Council has made the difficult decision to allow for the temporary inflation of food prices and the rationing of food staples.
“We understand the hardship this will place on the residents of Pumpkin Hollow,” said Mayor Poe in a statement after this decision was made. “But please know that we are all in this together. We hope to be able to offer a better incentive package for those interested in farming in the coming springtime.”
Page 1
Aurora
The dead of winter sheds all colors of the trees and flowers across Marrow Isle, but tonight, there are no stark whites and grays and browns.
Tonight, in the sky sprawling with stars above the dreary town, there are lights.
Sprawling trails of violet and green twist and wave through the sky, brightening the earth below and the sea beyond Jack's Marina in magical colors. The return of the borealis is something many Pumpkin Hollowites look forward to, and their reactions are very clear: people scurry down to the shores to watch with wide eyes, many retrieve telescopes, and some even borrow the decks of ships, abandoned for the night at the docks, to watch the sights.
It doesn't take long for this to change, however; the sea nor land are safe from the curse, and it's made quickly apparent that the sky is no exception.
At first, the sight seems like none more than an illusion, perhaps someone blinking and missing a strange shift of the lights. A glimmering outline forms around a cluster of stars, only slightly harder than any of the lines that define the aurora's rays. Several of these shapes form, each array of stars different from the last, some larger, some smaller.
And then, the stars begin to fall.
Seeming to peel off the painted sky, the ebbing colors surrounding the starlight drop, crashing to the world below. Some fall to the streets and beaches, while others fall into the forest, leaving view, or drop into the sea, leaving splashes and waves in their wake that ensure any watching knows full and well that this is not a trick of the light. At first, these shapes are unmoving, glowing masses of aurora-light with stars shining brightly within them. Most townsfolk are uneasy, but this seems to pale in severity to the other disasters, even if they lack any idea of what it could mean for them.
That is, of course, until the masses begin to move.
Each one is as varied as the constellation it stole from the sky: stars form suggestions of skeletal structures, and their "flesh", only consisting of swimming lights and liquid sky that steals any lights around them. Two identical glowing shapes rise to a face finally taking form, and slowly, moving more like gel than animal as it rises to freshly-formed legs, it settles on the closest living thing it can find.
There is no calculation in it, nor what seems to be a glimmer of thought.
It simply lunges with intent to kill.
Cecil’s disconcerting horoscopes have the following effects for the next few days:
Horoscopes
[CW: Altered emotional states ]
(Don’t know your character’s sign? Feel free to just decide on one!)
Unbeknownst to the townsfolk, the “love” potion ended up in the water supply of the Oak & Iron. As promised by Aeryn, it is thoroughly diluted, as its recipients believed it to be a normal freeze-resistance potion to be mixed with their water. The effects are not particularly intense. However, anyone who drinks any of the tavern’s housemade ale or cider, drinks the coffee, or eats any food that might require water to cook will experience symptoms of “emotional acuity”. This involves feeling more emotionally open, more receptive to positive feelings about others, a strong desire for physical or verbal affection, and the intensification of romantic or sexual attraction that you might already be experiencing. It will last about half a day. Just in time to help potentially land you a date for Merrymeet, a flower and fertility festival in early spring!Love Potion
[CW: Altered Emotional States ]
Food rationing and inflation will have the following impact: Grocery budgets for apped-in characters will be reduced in their efficacy.
Basic groceries will be only the most minimal of staples. You will likely go hungry if you do not find a way to supplement this.
Bountiful groceries will be reduced to the amount of food normally contained in basic.
Lavish groceries will not be available at all.
Your grocery choices from Activity Check are not able to be modified for this month unless otherwise stated. Bonuses and Discounts associated with the Farmer and Fisherman jobs are also reduced.
Level 1 bonuses will be reduced to standard, which is to say how they would function for a non-Farmer/Fisherman character during a normal, pre-famine month. (ex. Whereas normally a Level 1 Farmer would get free Basic groceries, they will now have to pay the 50 Brass, but do not have the efficacy of Basic groceries reduced as described above.)
Level 2 bonuses will be reduced to that of a Level 1 Farmer/Fisherman. (ex. Whereas a Level 2 Fisherman would normally be able to have Bountiful groceries discounted to 50 Brass, they now must pay full price for Bountiful groceries. However, they can still get Basic groceries for free and don’t suffer from the famine induced efficacy reduction for either budget.) Oak & Iron Residents will only be able to receive bland, repetitive meals with their food vouchers consisting of simple broth, plain bread, bland potato dishes, and the like. It is enough to be fed and comfortable but it is incredibly unsatisfying. (This includes all new characters that are not apped-in.) Drinks, however, are still plentiful. Characters who do not eat will find that their respective sources of fuel will be reduced to just barely enough to keep them functional, provided that they ration carefully. (Ex. Transformers may want to be less active. Vampires will find that victims cannot handle excessive blood loss without fainting and generally prefer to stay home.) Characters who were present to fight the Mother Crab back in late summer and chose to can some of their crab can use it now! Hunting, foraging, and fishing can help reduce the impact of these reductions, and people can share their food. You can absolutely die of starvation. After Merrymeet in February, food will return to normal.Famine
[CW: Starvation and food scarcity ]
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Lev bites their lip, and looks at the floor, abashed. They've gotten used to a certain kind of flippancy among those who walk but no longer live; it did not occur to them, the moment prior, that some might not be too happy about it.
"Beg thy pardon," they say. "Ah. Shall we try again, nu? What do I call thee, and how shall I refer to thee when speaking to others?"
"Pronouns" is a grammatical term back home, and Lev prefers being a little indirect, in any case—an old habit, long unnecessary, but hard to break out of.
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Someone has fucked up a perfectly good corpse. Look at it, he has anxiety.
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"We all are," says Lev, a little distractedly, not the least bit put off that Angel didn't seem to recognise where they'd meant to take the conversation. "Of course I'd refer to thee kindly." And they do not add, "I would never speak ill of the dead", since they have a smidgen of sense.
They look at Angel again, closely but without staring. "So like, nu. Thou woke up here one day, and this is all thou'st known? Or did'st thou come from elsewhere and remember it?"
They are maybe not-so-subtly trying to find out if anyone in this place is from a world at all similar to theirs.
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Really, if someone had raised him, they were a fucking dick for leaving him like that.
"Before arriving here, I was...attacked. Destroyed. And I woke up in Mortanne's office--the white haired lady. Got given the same second chance as everyone else here."
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"Attacked?" Lev cocks their head to one side. "By whom? Ah, like, I mean—" they cough, awkwardly. "Apologies if 'tis a sensitive subject. But I'd assumed the others here all arrived as I did. Not, uh. Not violently. Merely ... mundanely tragic."
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Lev sucks on their teeth, but quietly, aware that Angel might not take it as an expression of sympathy but as something else, like derision. They're already feeling more than a little sheepish for having been tactless (well, tactless by their own reckoning, at least).
So they don't look Angel in the eye, and say softly, "shall we find a place to sit? We need not talk more about this. Unless, like, thou wish'st?"
They pitch their voice like they do when by the house of those sitting shiva.
... and the thought of death, of mourning and ritual, instantly brings to mind home, and the marital bed and the communal kitchen by the maisonette flat near the oldest section of the Talons' outer wall. And faced with Angel here and now is the first time Lev has cause to consider that maybe they've got a rather unusual relationship with death, to say the least.
"I mind not," they add, a little hastily. "Uh. Death is not so alien by me."
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There’s a stiffness, a tightness there, the sound of someone who has quietly refused to look at their trauma as trauma. He put the feelings in a box and ignored them, and that’s worked so far.
So far.
“But. Yes, let’s sit. There’s tables around that corner.”
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Lev follows Angel to the tables, walking a little slower than they walk during the day, already getting tired.
"Who gave them the right to decide, who should exist and who should not?" they say in reply to Angel's quiet resignation. "Thou exist, and therefore thou hast a right to exist. People what take exception to such things ... feh. They ought to find hang-ups less destructive to their morals."
They sit down and gesture at the chair next to them.
"I wish to hear thine opinion," they say, earnestly. "And not that of thy murders."
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He is trying, though.
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"Thine own death," Lev says, very seriously. They're used to dealing with people who ought to be dead and are not, though it's not exactly been their life's work the way it has been for their husband. "Or like, more importantly, nu, thine own life, now that thou find'st thou hast one still."
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Lev pauses, considers this, then nods; they look pleased—and internally, they're a little relieved that Angel's being firm about something.
"Nu, very well," they say, "the death was not thine, but this life is. And without thy predecessor's death, thou would'st not be. And since thou art, the way thou came to exist is thy business, and like, it is not the place of b'ney Adam to end thee." They frown, and drum their fingers on the table, suddenly irritated by their own choice of words. "Feh. If I can use such terms. If b'ney Adam is at all universal. So many things have been revealed to me as specific, not least mine own universe itself." They look at Angel, a little helplessly. "Thou'rt one of the more familiar types I've met here."
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Angel shrugs slowly, as if he doesn't know what to do with that fact.
"I exist. I'm here. I'm working and existing in community with everyone else. I'm doing my best." That's the second time he's said that, that he's doing his best, like if he weren't at his best, or on his best behavior, at all times he might get the axe again.
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"Oh, good, thou know'st what Jews are," Lev says; they can't help but smile. "Nu, that's a relief. I was worried we truly might be a one-world phenomenon, which is like, a bit existentially terrifying."
The idea of an existence of multiple Holy Lands, multiple First Temples and Second Temples, bothers them a lot less than the idea of one singular instance of the Chosen People in all the multiverse. Certainly it's none of their business how time works, nor whether multiple realities might exist.
For all they know, there's no multiple realities in the first place, just one—separated by vast realms of Silver, and all duplicates as refractions and reflections, and not true new instances of the same thing.
But really, none of that matters as much as Angel.
"What else can anyone do, nu?" they say. "We all do our best. But like, nu." They chew the inside of their cheek. "I wish mine husband were here. He'd know what to say. He's the doctor-necromancer. Me? Oy. I'm merely a rabbi. I never had no other job, except for writer of pulp fiction, and feh, that's more of a hobby now."
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this doesn't have to be a wrap, but it can be a warp or the beginning of one!
"Say?" Lev/Lyubov shrugs. "Iunno, like, maybe not much. But maybe more than I, nu? I just recite Kaddish and visit those sitting shivah, he's the one what like, knows what to do when one's sitting shivah for one's own self. He'd know what to do, were he here."
They sigh, contemplating the situation. After a moment, their face lights up briefly with a smile, even if it's a little sad and reserved, and they say, "but thou'rt not so dead as to be lying still, nu? I'm sure like, I could at least provide thee company and friendship."