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ph_memes2024-01-10 06:19 pm
TDM #4 - Aurora Borealis Blitz [FIRST EDITION]
[Find our plain text version here!]
Pumpkin Hollow Gazette
1/10/24 | TDM #4 - AURORA BOREALIS BLITZ"
Content Warnings: "Further Details" section has independent CW labels.
Forecast: Heavy snow
BREAKING! REBUILDING HELP REQUESTED
By Cecil Gershwin Palmer
A photo taken of the damage.
ACROSS PUMPKIN HOLLOW - City government is requesting aid with repairs to public buildings and local fixtures after the recent earthquakes on Tuesday, January 8th. While there was minimal damage to Town Hall itself, several important buildings sustained damage, including the Magpie National Bank, the South Train Station and the Clock Tower, which is now stuck with hands at 8pm.
Regarding the cause of the earthquake, local biologist Dr. Elias Coldwood was heard to say “There's never been seismic activity here.” And he’s a scientist, so he would know! But clearly this is no longer the case. Perhaps Pumpkin Hollow has a mysterious tiny civilization underground worshiping a destroyer god, planning to attack through the bowling alley, the moment we create a bowling alley. Perhaps not. More on this story as it unfolds, faithful readers.
In the meantime, volunteers to help with the damage to city buildings are invited to meet with Mayor Hellen Poe for assignments.
ANNUAL AURORA IN NORTHERN SKY
By Yorick Aberdeen
An artist's rendition of last year's view.
ABOVE MARROW ISLE - Midwinter is upon us! That means it’s the time of year when our skies light up with the technicolor gleam of the arctic north! Those looking northward between the hours of 10pm and 2am should be able to see beautiful curtains of bright green, blue, purple, and pink lighting up the sky above the island. If you plan to go outside to view the lights rather than looking from your window, please make sure you travel in a group and carry a lantern. May it be ever lit!
HOROSCOPES
By Cecil Gershwin Palmer
What do the stars say about you today?
Capricorn: Do you feel as if you’ve lost something? If not, it’s wise to double-check. Perhaps it’s not something like a button or a key, but your sense of wonder or your self-confidence. Remember, things tend to be in the last place you look.
Aquarius: Something about the year ending made you feel lighter, like taking off a heavy wool coat. Ride this burst of energy as far as it will take you, because the shiny of a fresh beginning tends to wear off quickly.
Pisces: Don’t worry, I don’t believe what everyone says behind your back. You’re not too sensitive or too naive. They’re just jealous. Really, most of the time when they’re whispering, it’s not even about you.
Aries: You’re the sort of warm individual that babies and animals are drawn to. Unfortunately, this may include hungry wolves and swarms of insects. But don’t let that bring you down! We need that sort of personality around here.
Taurus: There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be the best, until you work to stop others from also being the best. That’s called cheating and may lead to you being disqualified from competitions. If you get caught, that is.
Gemini: You know those riddles about the two guards, one who always tells the truth and one who always lies? Well, everyone hates those riddles with a passion. You’ll see for yourself, soon.
Cancer: Wouldn’t you like to know?
Leo: Your incandescent personality often makes you the center of attention. However, that’s not the only thing about you that glows. Moths may flock to you in the dark this week, and so might children afraid to sleep with the lights out.
Virgo: Be careful with your words–they aren’t just the precursors to your deeds, but the manifestation of your will. This is not a week for idioms and metaphors, not for you. Even something like bemoaning a lack of spoons may make eating cereal harder.
Libra: You are, inevitably, the first one heard to say a situation isn’t fair. And it’s not, nor will it ever be. Instead of getting upset, have you ever considered getting revenge? That’s usually more satisfying in the long run.
Scorpio: Ugh, Scorpios. The position of Venus means your usually volatile emotions will be in the doldrums instead. Enjoy this while it lasts I guess. Who knows if you’ll ever experience such peace again, given, well. You’re kind of an emotional mess and no one likes you.
Sagittarius: There will never be another day like today. You must strive to make the day everything you want it to be. No mistakes, now! Consider your choices very carefully. Consider your choice to consider, very carefully.
SUNFIRE'S HEARTH
By Yorick Aberdeen
A photo of Mayor Poe's cats, Toffee and Butter, enjoying the view.
ASSORTED LOCATIONS - As the coldest part of the year settles over our fair isle, it is time for Sunfire’s Hearth--- an informal celebration of bonfires and hearth flames, for those unfamiliar! For the months of January and February, a raised platform for bonfires will be lit on weekends, and restaurants and taverns across town will keep their fireplaces lit. Unlike many of our other festivities, there is no structured celebration--- simply make some time during this time to bask in the warmth of a fire! You can even celebrate at home.
An additional benefit of this time of year is that Merrymeet is well on its way. So take this time and get snuggly in front of a fire with your special person to get in the mood for romance! (Or they could be platonic snuggles. Whatever suits you best.)
LOCAL ALCHEMIST REPORTS MISSING POTION
By Yorick Aberdeen
Some of Mx. Sallek's usual stock. Could stand to have better labels./p>
LOCATION UNCERTAIN - Early Monday morning, local alchemist Aeryn Sallek reported that a large container of magical potion has been swapped with another, and it would seem that the mistaken jug has been sent out for delivery. According to Mx. Sallek, they sent a number of jugs out for delivery in a case with our local delivery extraordinaire, Sam Porter Bridges. The jugs were meant to contain a harmless, potable freeze-resistance potion for our town’s various water sources, in the interest of keeping water reserves drinkable in sub-freezing winter weather. However, when they returned to the shop, one of these potions remained on their counter while a love potion they’d been working on went missing.
“‘Love potion’ is kind of a misnomer, honestly,” Mx. Sallek is quoted to have said on the matter. “But ‘emotional acuity’ potion doesn’t quite roll off the tongue. Basically what it actually does is enhance existing romantic desire and embolden the user to be emotionally open. But Yorick should already know all this, since he’s the one who ordered it.” [Editing note: don’t forget to cut the last part of that comment before publishing. Cecil, you don’t need to include personal statements directed at reporters from these interviews!]
It’s unclear which area of town this particular potion ended up being injected into the water source, but according to Mx. Sallek, the potion was not particularly intense to begin with. It should be significantly diluted as to be harmless. Still, if you notice any strange symptoms such as butterflies in your stomach, a desire to burst into song, or inexplicable yearning, please file a report with the Safety Board at your earliest convenience.
FOOD SHORTAGES PUT STRAIN ON ISLAND ECONOMY
By Yorick Aberdeen
MARKET DISTRICT - While there are many things to celebrate this time of year, Marrow Isle is not without its adversity. Over these past months, many new members of our community have arrived by ferry after our numbers remained small and stagnant for many years. And the presence of our newfound neighbors has been a boon to all of us. Many artisans have opened useful businesses, medical professionals have expanded our access to healthcare, and a new fishing vessel has taken to the seas. However, despite a few additions, our farming community remains quite modest and planting was not planned with such incredible new growth in mind.
The unfortunate result of this is that food reserves on the island this year are uncharacteristically low. As such, Town Council has made the difficult decision to allow for the temporary inflation of food prices and the rationing of food staples.
“We understand the hardship this will place on the residents of Pumpkin Hollow,” said Mayor Poe in a statement after this decision was made. “But please know that we are all in this together. We hope to be able to offer a better incentive package for those interested in farming in the coming springtime.”
Page 1
Aurora
The dead of winter sheds all colors of the trees and flowers across Marrow Isle, but tonight, there are no stark whites and grays and browns.
Tonight, in the sky sprawling with stars above the dreary town, there are lights.
Sprawling trails of violet and green twist and wave through the sky, brightening the earth below and the sea beyond Jack's Marina in magical colors. The return of the borealis is something many Pumpkin Hollowites look forward to, and their reactions are very clear: people scurry down to the shores to watch with wide eyes, many retrieve telescopes, and some even borrow the decks of ships, abandoned for the night at the docks, to watch the sights.
It doesn't take long for this to change, however; the sea nor land are safe from the curse, and it's made quickly apparent that the sky is no exception.
At first, the sight seems like none more than an illusion, perhaps someone blinking and missing a strange shift of the lights. A glimmering outline forms around a cluster of stars, only slightly harder than any of the lines that define the aurora's rays. Several of these shapes form, each array of stars different from the last, some larger, some smaller.
And then, the stars begin to fall.
Seeming to peel off the painted sky, the ebbing colors surrounding the starlight drop, crashing to the world below. Some fall to the streets and beaches, while others fall into the forest, leaving view, or drop into the sea, leaving splashes and waves in their wake that ensure any watching knows full and well that this is not a trick of the light. At first, these shapes are unmoving, glowing masses of aurora-light with stars shining brightly within them. Most townsfolk are uneasy, but this seems to pale in severity to the other disasters, even if they lack any idea of what it could mean for them.
That is, of course, until the masses begin to move.
Each one is as varied as the constellation it stole from the sky: stars form suggestions of skeletal structures, and their "flesh", only consisting of swimming lights and liquid sky that steals any lights around them. Two identical glowing shapes rise to a face finally taking form, and slowly, moving more like gel than animal as it rises to freshly-formed legs, it settles on the closest living thing it can find.
There is no calculation in it, nor what seems to be a glimmer of thought.
It simply lunges with intent to kill.
Cecil’s disconcerting horoscopes have the following effects for the next few days:
Horoscopes
[CW: Altered emotional states ]
(Don’t know your character’s sign? Feel free to just decide on one!)
Unbeknownst to the townsfolk, the “love” potion ended up in the water supply of the Oak & Iron. As promised by Aeryn, it is thoroughly diluted, as its recipients believed it to be a normal freeze-resistance potion to be mixed with their water. The effects are not particularly intense. However, anyone who drinks any of the tavern’s housemade ale or cider, drinks the coffee, or eats any food that might require water to cook will experience symptoms of “emotional acuity”. This involves feeling more emotionally open, more receptive to positive feelings about others, a strong desire for physical or verbal affection, and the intensification of romantic or sexual attraction that you might already be experiencing. It will last about half a day. Just in time to help potentially land you a date for Merrymeet, a flower and fertility festival in early spring!Love Potion
[CW: Altered Emotional States ]
Food rationing and inflation will have the following impact: Grocery budgets for apped-in characters will be reduced in their efficacy.
Basic groceries will be only the most minimal of staples. You will likely go hungry if you do not find a way to supplement this.
Bountiful groceries will be reduced to the amount of food normally contained in basic.
Lavish groceries will not be available at all.
Your grocery choices from Activity Check are not able to be modified for this month unless otherwise stated. Bonuses and Discounts associated with the Farmer and Fisherman jobs are also reduced.
Level 1 bonuses will be reduced to standard, which is to say how they would function for a non-Farmer/Fisherman character during a normal, pre-famine month. (ex. Whereas normally a Level 1 Farmer would get free Basic groceries, they will now have to pay the 50 Brass, but do not have the efficacy of Basic groceries reduced as described above.)
Level 2 bonuses will be reduced to that of a Level 1 Farmer/Fisherman. (ex. Whereas a Level 2 Fisherman would normally be able to have Bountiful groceries discounted to 50 Brass, they now must pay full price for Bountiful groceries. However, they can still get Basic groceries for free and don’t suffer from the famine induced efficacy reduction for either budget.) Oak & Iron Residents will only be able to receive bland, repetitive meals with their food vouchers consisting of simple broth, plain bread, bland potato dishes, and the like. It is enough to be fed and comfortable but it is incredibly unsatisfying. (This includes all new characters that are not apped-in.) Drinks, however, are still plentiful. Characters who do not eat will find that their respective sources of fuel will be reduced to just barely enough to keep them functional, provided that they ration carefully. (Ex. Transformers may want to be less active. Vampires will find that victims cannot handle excessive blood loss without fainting and generally prefer to stay home.) Characters who were present to fight the Mother Crab back in late summer and chose to can some of their crab can use it now! Hunting, foraging, and fishing can help reduce the impact of these reductions, and people can share their food. You can absolutely die of starvation. After Merrymeet in February, food will return to normal.Famine
[CW: Starvation and food scarcity ]
no subject
"Sounds like you had a good little community, where you're from," he offers, "that's good, sounds... homely. I hope you don't miss it too much while we're stuck here. I mean here- we have monsters coming down from the stars like the plot of some b-grade Sci Fi flick and it's still better than where I was, but if I was home where I'm from? I'd probably be out in a canoe trying to leave."
no subject
Lev laughs, and beams at Hawk.
"Nu, nesherele," he says, and he's definitely flirting now (and hoping Hawk's as he appears, and has no clue what nesher actually means, or that Hawk is not as he appears and knows why the vulture is the real king of birds), "I am a monster come down from the stars." And with his free hand, he theatrically sweeps aside his fringe, to show off the ocelli like stars upon his forehead. "'Tis the root of all b'ney Adam."
no subject
After a moment, he says-
"You're beautiful."
Married married married he's married he has a husband married married husband married husband change the topic change it change it-
"What- how do you have stars on you?"
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Lev blushes, and ducks his head, and is just workshopping a response, when Hawk gets so flustered that Lev's instantly able to pick up on it.
"Oh, uh," he says, and snorts with laughter. "I mean, like, these are mine eyes? The other eyes, the ocelli, the eyes what some of us nephilim have. And, uh. They're stars, for no particular reason. Mine husband has enough ocelli that with his two mortal eyes, he has eight like a spider. HaShem made the creatures different, nu?"
He pauses, still smiling at Hawkeye.
"I can't see with these," he says. "Not in this body, nu? But other times, sometimes I can see with more than two eyes."
no subject
Hawkeye sighs.
"Lev, I'm sorry, but you're going to have to explain... all of this, like I'm an idiot. What do you mean 'not in this body'- where I'm from, people only have the two eyes we get given. I don't understand any of this, but I want to."
no subject
"Well, like, some of us get given more than two eyes?" says Lev, genuinely bewildered. "But, I mean like. People ... don't always look the same. Sometimes, one just like, stops looking like they do day to day, and they look like they look in the Silver."
He pauses, rewinds the conversation in his head, and decides that he ought to explain what the Silver is.
"Like, the Silver's the realm of dreams," he says, sounding a little unsure how plain the meaning is. "But also, like, it's what's between us and the realms we enter after we die and move on? I could show thee what I mean by not in this body, but I'm no good doing it on command—"
no subject
"Okay, maybe I'll start from the beginning. In my world we don't have 'other realms'- no proof of them, anyway. We all get given one flimsy unoptimized body that we have to make do with, and when we die we die- no ghosts, no... nothing, just dead. We don't have magic, we don't have more than two eyes unless you're a conjoined twin, and I guess all of this the eyes and the nesherele stuff is as obvious to you as chemistry is to me, but it's not... obvious to me. Every conversation I have to check which way up is."
He pinches the bridge of his nose, and smooths that motion into rubbing his forehead.
"So... some of you have extra eyes, and sometimes you look like how you look in the place between here and- heaven? Are you... an angel?"
no subject
Lev looks intently at Hawkeye, his mouth twitching between a smile and a crooked grin hiding confusion. By him, Hawk seems to be lumping several different things into the same category. He's not quite sure where to start untangling the miscommunication, especially since it's not the layers of confusion he wants to unpeel right now.
"Nu, like, we do have the chymical arts," he says, a little defensively. "Feh, we're civilised enough, even in Galitziya! We have the apothecary's art, and the alchemist's art both. But like …" he pauses, and drums his fingers on his collarbone. "The nesher, he has nothing to do with any of that. He is merely the king of the birds. Like, the true king of the birds, not the eagle, nor the hawk." He cocks his head, and smiles coquettishly at Hawkeye. "He soars above all, and casts dark shade with his vast wings. Hawks and falcons, they're sweet and charming, but nu, they're rather like cats. A nesher is to such as a lion is to a cat."
But Hawk's next comment takes him aback. He blushes, and claps his hand over his mouth, to stifle startled giggling.
"Uhm, nu, like," he begins, stuttering, and then collapses into abashed giggles. "Um. No, no, I'm b'ney Adam, same as thee. I'm a nephil, true, but like. It's like, been long established that our Torah uses the word in a manner it is not used by the people, especially not in the modern age. But nephilim are nu, common. Everyone who's not a shoggah hatched from their hive, they're a shoggah born to another shoggah, and thus one of the nephilim. Um. I like, rather mislike the habit of distinguishing someone what looks like thee as a lovek and myself as a nephil proper. Feh. Based on mere looks!"
He bites his lip, and then his face lights up with a smile.
"Were I an angel, nu, I would not be at liberty to flirt with thee," he says, looking down, suddenly shy. "The messengers of the Heavens, they have no such free will, no such liberties. They don't get a Torah, nu? Because they don't fuck, nor do they sleep, and nor do they die. They have no need of laws, nor of consolation."
no subject
Only for that to be wiped clean from the forefront of his mind when Lev points out that he is, in fact, actually flirting with him.
Both hands go up- "You're gorgeous but the last thing I need is someone's husband kicking my tush right now- it's been nice but I really oughta get back to work," especially since he's being served up a nice big plate of temptation to say to hell with his principles, "this place is screwy enough that someone could get dragged through that door for me to patch up any minute now."
no subject
Lev makes another mental note of the sudden intrusion of Yiddish into Hawkeye's sentences—he's sorely tempted to reply in mama-lushn, see how Hawkeye handles them apples; he never quite outgrew being a mazik, after all, something his husband appreciates likely only due to certain nuances of their relationship.
Nuances he'd love to explain to Hawkeye, alongside the other nuance that Hawkeye seems to think could not possibly exist (namely: an open marriage).
But really, Hawkeye's so agitated that teasing him is no fun any more. He's not used a safeword, but he's certainly acting like he would, if he knew what it was. So Lev sighs, and acquiesces.
"Nu, okay, dearest," he says, unconsciously mimicking his husband. "If thou'rt sure, I shan't press the matter no more. But nu, like ..." he pauses, twirling a strand of his hair around one finger. "If thou change'st not thy mind, I shan't presume it could be changed. But I hope that friendship's not off the table?"
no subject
But at Lev dropping it, he seems to relax a good deal. Temptation avoided. For now.
At least until he gets their husband's go-ahead."Friendship I can do. I'd love to be friends. And presumably also help you overthrow the monarchy if one sets up shop here."
and that's a wrap!
Lev blushes and ducks his head at the monarchy comment, like he’s been paid a tremendous compliment (which is, in fact, how he’s taking Hawkeye’s quip).
“Absolutely, ziskayt,” he says, unable to refrain from one final flirty line; if nothing else the flirting is distracting him from the lurking anger that had started this whole adventure. Maybe he ought to go for a walk, clear his head, cool off. “Regarding like, the friendship and the revolutionary solidarity both, nu?”
He gets to his feet, bows to Hawkeye in farewell, and heads for the door, stopping briefly at the threshold to tell the surgeon, “zah gezint! I’ll see thee about, nu?”
On the whole, he reflects, heading out into the winter evening, he’ll hopefully find enough distractions here so maybe, just maybe, he won’t have to think too much about the fact he is, in fact, dead.
no subject
"Zah gezint," he parrots back, holding up a fist in solidarity, "don't be a stranger."