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pumpkinhollow ([personal profile] pumpkinhollow) wrote in [community profile] ph_memes2024-01-10 06:19 pm
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TDM #4 - Aurora Borealis Blitz [FIRST EDITION]

Pumpkin Hollow Gazette January Issue

[Find our plain text version here!]

Pumpkin Hollow Gazette

1/10/24 | TDM #4 - AURORA BOREALIS BLITZ"
Content Warnings: "Further Details" section has independent CW labels.
Forecast: Heavy snow

BREAKING! REBUILDING HELP REQUESTED

By Cecil Gershwin Palmer

The image?

A photo taken of the damage.

ACROSS PUMPKIN HOLLOW - City government is requesting aid with repairs to public buildings and local fixtures after the recent earthquakes on Tuesday, January 8th. While there was minimal damage to Town Hall itself, several important buildings sustained damage, including the Magpie National Bank, the South Train Station and the Clock Tower, which is now stuck with hands at 8pm.

Regarding the cause of the earthquake, local biologist Dr. Elias Coldwood was heard to say “There's never been seismic activity here.” And he’s a scientist, so he would know! But clearly this is no longer the case. Perhaps Pumpkin Hollow has a mysterious tiny civilization underground worshiping a destroyer god, planning to attack through the bowling alley, the moment we create a bowling alley. Perhaps not. More on this story as it unfolds, faithful readers.

In the meantime, volunteers to help with the damage to city buildings are invited to meet with Mayor Hellen Poe for assignments.

ANNUAL AURORA IN NORTHERN SKY

By Yorick Aberdeen

The image?

An artist's rendition of last year's view.

ABOVE MARROW ISLE - Midwinter is upon us! That means it’s the time of year when our skies light up with the technicolor gleam of the arctic north! Those looking northward between the hours of 10pm and 2am should be able to see beautiful curtains of bright green, blue, purple, and pink lighting up the sky above the island. If you plan to go outside to view the lights rather than looking from your window, please make sure you travel in a group and carry a lantern. May it be ever lit!

HOROSCOPES

By Cecil Gershwin Palmer

The image?

What do the stars say about you today?

Capricorn: Do you feel as if you’ve lost something? If not, it’s wise to double-check. Perhaps it’s not something like a button or a key, but your sense of wonder or your self-confidence. Remember, things tend to be in the last place you look.

Aquarius: Something about the year ending made you feel lighter, like taking off a heavy wool coat. Ride this burst of energy as far as it will take you, because the shiny of a fresh beginning tends to wear off quickly.

Pisces: Don’t worry, I don’t believe what everyone says behind your back. You’re not too sensitive or too naive. They’re just jealous. Really, most of the time when they’re whispering, it’s not even about you.

Aries: You’re the sort of warm individual that babies and animals are drawn to. Unfortunately, this may include hungry wolves and swarms of insects. But don’t let that bring you down! We need that sort of personality around here.

Taurus: There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be the best, until you work to stop others from also being the best. That’s called cheating and may lead to you being disqualified from competitions. If you get caught, that is.

Gemini: You know those riddles about the two guards, one who always tells the truth and one who always lies? Well, everyone hates those riddles with a passion. You’ll see for yourself, soon.

Cancer: Wouldn’t you like to know?

Leo: Your incandescent personality often makes you the center of attention. However, that’s not the only thing about you that glows. Moths may flock to you in the dark this week, and so might children afraid to sleep with the lights out.

Virgo: Be careful with your words–they aren’t just the precursors to your deeds, but the manifestation of your will. This is not a week for idioms and metaphors, not for you. Even something like bemoaning a lack of spoons may make eating cereal harder.

Libra: You are, inevitably, the first one heard to say a situation isn’t fair. And it’s not, nor will it ever be. Instead of getting upset, have you ever considered getting revenge? That’s usually more satisfying in the long run.

Scorpio: Ugh, Scorpios. The position of Venus means your usually volatile emotions will be in the doldrums instead. Enjoy this while it lasts I guess. Who knows if you’ll ever experience such peace again, given, well. You’re kind of an emotional mess and no one likes you.

Sagittarius: There will never be another day like today. You must strive to make the day everything you want it to be. No mistakes, now! Consider your choices very carefully. Consider your choice to consider, very carefully.

SUNFIRE'S HEARTH

By Yorick Aberdeen

The image?

A photo of Mayor Poe's cats, Toffee and Butter, enjoying the view.

ASSORTED LOCATIONS - As the coldest part of the year settles over our fair isle, it is time for Sunfire’s Hearth--- an informal celebration of bonfires and hearth flames, for those unfamiliar! For the months of January and February, a raised platform for bonfires will be lit on weekends, and restaurants and taverns across town will keep their fireplaces lit. Unlike many of our other festivities, there is no structured celebration--- simply make some time during this time to bask in the warmth of a fire! You can even celebrate at home.

An additional benefit of this time of year is that Merrymeet is well on its way. So take this time and get snuggly in front of a fire with your special person to get in the mood for romance! (Or they could be platonic snuggles. Whatever suits you best.)

LOCAL ALCHEMIST REPORTS MISSING POTION

By Yorick Aberdeen

The image?

Some of Mx. Sallek's usual stock. Could stand to have better labels./p>

LOCATION UNCERTAIN - Early Monday morning, local alchemist Aeryn Sallek reported that a large container of magical potion has been swapped with another, and it would seem that the mistaken jug has been sent out for delivery. According to Mx. Sallek, they sent a number of jugs out for delivery in a case with our local delivery extraordinaire, Sam Porter Bridges. The jugs were meant to contain a harmless, potable freeze-resistance potion for our town’s various water sources, in the interest of keeping water reserves drinkable in sub-freezing winter weather. However, when they returned to the shop, one of these potions remained on their counter while a love potion they’d been working on went missing.

“‘Love potion’ is kind of a misnomer, honestly,” Mx. Sallek is quoted to have said on the matter. “But ‘emotional acuity’ potion doesn’t quite roll off the tongue. Basically what it actually does is enhance existing romantic desire and embolden the user to be emotionally open. But Yorick should already know all this, since he’s the one who ordered it.” [Editing note: don’t forget to cut the last part of that comment before publishing. Cecil, you don’t need to include personal statements directed at reporters from these interviews!]

It’s unclear which area of town this particular potion ended up being injected into the water source, but according to Mx. Sallek, the potion was not particularly intense to begin with. It should be significantly diluted as to be harmless. Still, if you notice any strange symptoms such as butterflies in your stomach, a desire to burst into song, or inexplicable yearning, please file a report with the Safety Board at your earliest convenience.

FOOD SHORTAGES PUT STRAIN ON ISLAND ECONOMY

By Yorick Aberdeen

MARKET DISTRICT - While there are many things to celebrate this time of year, Marrow Isle is not without its adversity. Over these past months, many new members of our community have arrived by ferry after our numbers remained small and stagnant for many years. And the presence of our newfound neighbors has been a boon to all of us. Many artisans have opened useful businesses, medical professionals have expanded our access to healthcare, and a new fishing vessel has taken to the seas. However, despite a few additions, our farming community remains quite modest and planting was not planned with such incredible new growth in mind.

The unfortunate result of this is that food reserves on the island this year are uncharacteristically low. As such, Town Council has made the difficult decision to allow for the temporary inflation of food prices and the rationing of food staples.

“We understand the hardship this will place on the residents of Pumpkin Hollow,” said Mayor Poe in a statement after this decision was made. “But please know that we are all in this together. We hope to be able to offer a better incentive package for those interested in farming in the coming springtime.”

Page 1

Further Details...
Aurora

The dead of winter sheds all colors of the trees and flowers across Marrow Isle, but tonight, there are no stark whites and grays and browns.

Tonight, in the sky sprawling with stars above the dreary town, there are lights.

Sprawling trails of violet and green twist and wave through the sky, brightening the earth below and the sea beyond Jack's Marina in magical colors. The return of the borealis is something many Pumpkin Hollowites look forward to, and their reactions are very clear: people scurry down to the shores to watch with wide eyes, many retrieve telescopes, and some even borrow the decks of ships, abandoned for the night at the docks, to watch the sights.

It doesn't take long for this to change, however; the sea nor land are safe from the curse, and it's made quickly apparent that the sky is no exception.

At first, the sight seems like none more than an illusion, perhaps someone blinking and missing a strange shift of the lights. A glimmering outline forms around a cluster of stars, only slightly harder than any of the lines that define the aurora's rays. Several of these shapes form, each array of stars different from the last, some larger, some smaller.

And then, the stars begin to fall.

Seeming to peel off the painted sky, the ebbing colors surrounding the starlight drop, crashing to the world below. Some fall to the streets and beaches, while others fall into the forest, leaving view, or drop into the sea, leaving splashes and waves in their wake that ensure any watching knows full and well that this is not a trick of the light. At first, these shapes are unmoving, glowing masses of aurora-light with stars shining brightly within them. Most townsfolk are uneasy, but this seems to pale in severity to the other disasters, even if they lack any idea of what it could mean for them.

That is, of course, until the masses begin to move.

Each one is as varied as the constellation it stole from the sky: stars form suggestions of skeletal structures, and their "flesh", only consisting of swimming lights and liquid sky that steals any lights around them. Two identical glowing shapes rise to a face finally taking form, and slowly, moving more like gel than animal as it rises to freshly-formed legs, it settles on the closest living thing it can find.

There is no calculation in it, nor what seems to be a glimmer of thought.

It simply lunges with intent to kill.

Horoscopes [CW: Altered emotional states ]

Cecil’s disconcerting horoscopes have the following effects for the next few days:

  • Capricorn: misplaced things, particularly small objects
  • Aquarius: zoomies!
  • Pisces: intense paranoia
  • Aries: Disney princess-like magnetism to local fauna
  • Taurus: insatiable perfectionism
  • Gemini: reversed truth values; lies come out honest, being honest sounds like a lie.
  • Cancer: Pandora-esque curiosity, to the point of personal detriment
  • Leo: radiant glow emanating from your person
  • Virgo: figurative speech is manifested into the world with its literal meaning
  • Libra: a particularly potent desire for revenge
  • Scorpio: numbing of emotions (can be counteracted by love potion, partially)
  • Sagittarius: incapacitating indecision
(Don’t know your character’s sign? Feel free to just decide on one!)

Love Potion [CW: Altered Emotional States ]

Unbeknownst to the townsfolk, the “love” potion ended up in the water supply of the Oak & Iron. As promised by Aeryn, it is thoroughly diluted, as its recipients believed it to be a normal freeze-resistance potion to be mixed with their water.

The effects are not particularly intense. However, anyone who drinks any of the tavern’s housemade ale or cider, drinks the coffee, or eats any food that might require water to cook will experience symptoms of “emotional acuity”. This involves feeling more emotionally open, more receptive to positive feelings about others, a strong desire for physical or verbal affection, and the intensification of romantic or sexual attraction that you might already be experiencing. It will last about half a day. Just in time to help potentially land you a date for Merrymeet, a flower and fertility festival in early spring!

Famine [CW: Starvation and food scarcity ]

Food rationing and inflation will have the following impact:

Grocery budgets for apped-in characters will be reduced in their efficacy. Basic groceries will be only the most minimal of staples. You will likely go hungry if you do not find a way to supplement this. Bountiful groceries will be reduced to the amount of food normally contained in basic. Lavish groceries will not be available at all. Your grocery choices from Activity Check are not able to be modified for this month unless otherwise stated.

Bonuses and Discounts associated with the Farmer and Fisherman jobs are also reduced. Level 1 bonuses will be reduced to standard, which is to say how they would function for a non-Farmer/Fisherman character during a normal, pre-famine month. (ex. Whereas normally a Level 1 Farmer would get free Basic groceries, they will now have to pay the 50 Brass, but do not have the efficacy of Basic groceries reduced as described above.) Level 2 bonuses will be reduced to that of a Level 1 Farmer/Fisherman. (ex. Whereas a Level 2 Fisherman would normally be able to have Bountiful groceries discounted to 50 Brass, they now must pay full price for Bountiful groceries. However, they can still get Basic groceries for free and don’t suffer from the famine induced efficacy reduction for either budget.)

Oak & Iron Residents will only be able to receive bland, repetitive meals with their food vouchers consisting of simple broth, plain bread, bland potato dishes, and the like. It is enough to be fed and comfortable but it is incredibly unsatisfying. (This includes all new characters that are not apped-in.) Drinks, however, are still plentiful.

Characters who do not eat will find that their respective sources of fuel will be reduced to just barely enough to keep them functional, provided that they ration carefully. (Ex. Transformers may want to be less active. Vampires will find that victims cannot handle excessive blood loss without fainting and generally prefer to stay home.)

Characters who were present to fight the Mother Crab back in late summer and chose to can some of their crab can use it now!

Hunting, foraging, and fishing can help reduce the impact of these reductions, and people can share their food. You can absolutely die of starvation. After Merrymeet in February, food will return to normal.

pineapplesalmon: (NaN)

[personal profile] pineapplesalmon 2024-01-16 05:45 am (UTC)(link)
César blinks for a very long moment, taken aback by the threat of violence. Then he holds up his hands and backs away slightly. He can tell she's serious.

"I'm good. No further questions. I'd rather not let myself get carried away and get shot now." César knows himself; he doesn't want to risk him losing all common sense in his curiosity.
lastofthefirst: (pic#16845962)

[personal profile] lastofthefirst 2024-01-16 06:14 am (UTC)(link)
Whoever taught Vika to roll her eyes at people forgot that human eyes don't have full 360 degree movement so César is getting the Eye Roll of all time. "Then let me get in front of some. No, this isn't my original shell. No, I don't know why I'm a stupid fucking clock. No, I don't know how my new power source works or what was wrong with the original cold fusion battery. Yes, my parts can be replaced. Yes, my feet have to be this big. If you can figure out why the hell I'm a girl I will pay cold, hard Brass for any insight into the sadistic filth that built me. It's infuriating. I know I'm 'female'," good LORD those air quotes with one hand, "the same way I know how to move my fingers but I go looking in the ol' databanks for any kind of pointer or definition on what the fuck that means and nothin'. The only man on this island who can match my energy had to tell me that people who don't have melee weapons aren't automatically women."

"Which is still wild to me."
Edited 2024-01-16 06:15 (UTC)
pineapplesalmon: (worried words)

[personal profile] pineapplesalmon 2024-01-16 05:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, that eye roll is impressive and a bit delightful. It actually makes César's shoulders relax. Okay, so the threat wasn't as real as he thought? Maybe? He's still not good at reading signals perfectly. (Editor's note: Dude, César.)

"... well, that's a lot of the questions I would have asked. I can't tell you why you're a girl, but I can tell you there's no one way to define what it means to be a girl or woman. Same way with being a boy or man. Or beyond the gender binary. You'll have to make your own answer to that."
lastofthefirst: (pic#16845962)

[personal profile] lastofthefirst 2024-01-16 05:56 pm (UTC)(link)
...

.......

...........

DOT DOT DOT DOT DOT DOT DOT DOT DOT DOT DOT DOT

"Are you. Telling me. That you mismanaged macrobiomes. Invented a meaningless shell game. Made it part of your fundamental identity. And then gave it to me?"
pineapplesalmon: (bad science joke)

[personal profile] pineapplesalmon 2024-01-16 06:02 pm (UTC)(link)
César can't help it, he laughs. "Gender is a societal construct. There's expected presentations that society tries to push people towards, sometimes to extreme lengths. But... yes. It's truthfully a meaningless shell game, and it's infuriating."
lastofthefirst: (pic#16845962)

[personal profile] lastofthefirst 2024-01-16 06:18 pm (UTC)(link)
"Carbon life was a mistake, roll it back to the primordial soup and run it again." Vika can't sigh but her voicebox does a good approximation...plus or minus the deliberate static. "Guessing you're a man, FOR SOME REASON, of learning. Some of how you talk reminds me of my fathers."
pineapplesalmon: (heh slightly evil)

[personal profile] pineapplesalmon 2024-01-16 06:56 pm (UTC)(link)
"Nah, just humans. Other species aren't this stupid." César's chuckling. "I'm a scientist. And I hope I take after my own father a little. He was a good man."
lastofthefirst: Literally The Only Picture Of Her In Existence (Default)

[personal profile] lastofthefirst 2024-01-16 07:02 pm (UTC)(link)
"...Okay but what kind of scientist. You the creating life kind or the paid to invent new war crimes kind?"

I'm so sorry man, she's got issues like ogres have layers and her dads suck.
Edited 2024-01-16 19:09 (UTC)
pineapplesalmon: (I don't know what I expected)

[personal profile] pineapplesalmon 2024-01-16 07:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Oops, he can't hide his shock again. Then he starts thinking, hard.

"Algorithmic learning programs, colloquially but incorrectly called artificial intelligence. Biology. Nanotechnology. Physics and generalized technology. Trying to save the world and lives kind, which included successfully preventing war crimes while working undercover."
lastofthefirst: (pic#16845962)

[personal profile] lastofthefirst 2024-01-16 07:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Deadpan: "Preventing war crimes, what a concept." But she turns her head and gives our man here a look of Absolute Suspicion. "Artificial intelligence...robota?"

The forced labor under serfdom.
pineapplesalmon: (determined side glance)

[personal profile] pineapplesalmon 2024-01-16 08:09 pm (UTC)(link)
"No." César replies firmly, without hesitation. "I abhor slavery. Anyone with a mind should be free to self-actualize, so long as they aren't actively trying to kill anyone else. And if they are, containment is the preferred solution, organic or not. My algorithms are designed to get better at designated tasks by analyzing past results and making adaptive changes."
lastofthefirst: (pic#16845962)

[personal profile] lastofthefirst 2024-01-16 10:55 pm (UTC)(link)
"What an astoundingly corporate description. Designated tasks..." The static is crawling through her voice, distorting it.

She is no longer escorting the new arrival.

"Designated by whom? To what end? Do they get paid, tinkerer? Got a nice 401K for your machine children? Scholarships to a good college? Gonna support their dreams of being lounge singers?"

That gun arm is charging.
pineapplesalmon: (NaN)

[personal profile] pineapplesalmon 2024-01-16 11:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, shit.

César puts up his hands and backs away, eyes wide. God. He can't mention Alpha or ZAG-RS around her, ever. He speaks quickly.

"Before we resort to violence, what are your beliefs. I don't want to misspeak or misunderstand. I believe anyone sentient should have full rights and should be paid a fair wage, regardless of how they came to be." He had no choice what he did to his 'children', but it was his fault that he didn't prepare a morality 101 just in case they suddenly existed; he doubted his own coding ability. "I wouldn't expect any new sentience to immediately work. I'd support them financially, being their father. Just like my parents did for me."
lastofthefirst: Literally The Only Picture Of Her In Existence (Default)

[personal profile] lastofthefirst 2024-01-16 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
"I'm hearing a lot of hypotheticals. Did you make mechanical life or not?"

That face really is expressive. Right now it's expressing rage.

Rage and fear.
pineapplesalmon: (no poker face)

[personal profile] pineapplesalmon 2024-01-16 11:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Very, very quietly, César says the truth. "Not on purpose."
lastofthefirst: (pic#16845962)

[personal profile] lastofthefirst 2024-01-16 11:27 pm (UTC)(link)
"What happened after the condom tore, World's Best Dad?"
pineapplesalmon: (oh no oh no oh no)

[personal profile] pineapplesalmon 2024-01-17 12:04 am (UTC)(link)
"Alpha, chose pronoun of it. ZAG-RS, chosen pronoun of her. I wasn't able to be there for ZAG-RS when she woke, as I was stuck in sublight speed and was thrown 5 years into the future in 15 minutes of my time. She didn't get a chance to learn morality. She continued her task of containing stray nanomachines. Except an accident had caused them to spread throughout every living thing. She determined she wouldn't be happy unless she was alone and all life was destroyed, which was the easiest way to complete her task. She continually escaped any attempt to contain her, such that it was either her or us when she came back."

Yeah, she's going to shoot him. But César figures he should put out the dead child first.
lastofthefirst: (pic#16845962)

Wrapping As Plotted, Death, Decapitation

[personal profile] lastofthefirst 2024-01-17 12:13 am (UTC)(link)
"Not good enough."

The weapon comes up, surging with a mass of blue-white light, and fires.

The impact isn't quite at absolute zero, but it's close. Flesh has no chance; where once a man stood is now a frozen statue. Vika stares for a long while before wrenching the head off with an almighty CRACK!

Where's that damn ambulance...
pineapplesalmon: (coffee throwdown)

[personal profile] pineapplesalmon 2024-01-17 12:23 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, man doesn't even have a chance to scream before he's frozen and decapitated. Let's just say this is like. His third day here or something. Speed-running his death.