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ph_memes2024-01-10 06:19 pm
TDM #4 - Aurora Borealis Blitz [FIRST EDITION]
[Find our plain text version here!]
Pumpkin Hollow Gazette
1/10/24 | TDM #4 - AURORA BOREALIS BLITZ"
Content Warnings: "Further Details" section has independent CW labels.
Forecast: Heavy snow
BREAKING! REBUILDING HELP REQUESTED
By Cecil Gershwin Palmer
A photo taken of the damage.
ACROSS PUMPKIN HOLLOW - City government is requesting aid with repairs to public buildings and local fixtures after the recent earthquakes on Tuesday, January 8th. While there was minimal damage to Town Hall itself, several important buildings sustained damage, including the Magpie National Bank, the South Train Station and the Clock Tower, which is now stuck with hands at 8pm.
Regarding the cause of the earthquake, local biologist Dr. Elias Coldwood was heard to say “There's never been seismic activity here.” And he’s a scientist, so he would know! But clearly this is no longer the case. Perhaps Pumpkin Hollow has a mysterious tiny civilization underground worshiping a destroyer god, planning to attack through the bowling alley, the moment we create a bowling alley. Perhaps not. More on this story as it unfolds, faithful readers.
In the meantime, volunteers to help with the damage to city buildings are invited to meet with Mayor Hellen Poe for assignments.
ANNUAL AURORA IN NORTHERN SKY
By Yorick Aberdeen
An artist's rendition of last year's view.
ABOVE MARROW ISLE - Midwinter is upon us! That means it’s the time of year when our skies light up with the technicolor gleam of the arctic north! Those looking northward between the hours of 10pm and 2am should be able to see beautiful curtains of bright green, blue, purple, and pink lighting up the sky above the island. If you plan to go outside to view the lights rather than looking from your window, please make sure you travel in a group and carry a lantern. May it be ever lit!
HOROSCOPES
By Cecil Gershwin Palmer
What do the stars say about you today?
Capricorn: Do you feel as if you’ve lost something? If not, it’s wise to double-check. Perhaps it’s not something like a button or a key, but your sense of wonder or your self-confidence. Remember, things tend to be in the last place you look.
Aquarius: Something about the year ending made you feel lighter, like taking off a heavy wool coat. Ride this burst of energy as far as it will take you, because the shiny of a fresh beginning tends to wear off quickly.
Pisces: Don’t worry, I don’t believe what everyone says behind your back. You’re not too sensitive or too naive. They’re just jealous. Really, most of the time when they’re whispering, it’s not even about you.
Aries: You’re the sort of warm individual that babies and animals are drawn to. Unfortunately, this may include hungry wolves and swarms of insects. But don’t let that bring you down! We need that sort of personality around here.
Taurus: There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be the best, until you work to stop others from also being the best. That’s called cheating and may lead to you being disqualified from competitions. If you get caught, that is.
Gemini: You know those riddles about the two guards, one who always tells the truth and one who always lies? Well, everyone hates those riddles with a passion. You’ll see for yourself, soon.
Cancer: Wouldn’t you like to know?
Leo: Your incandescent personality often makes you the center of attention. However, that’s not the only thing about you that glows. Moths may flock to you in the dark this week, and so might children afraid to sleep with the lights out.
Virgo: Be careful with your words–they aren’t just the precursors to your deeds, but the manifestation of your will. This is not a week for idioms and metaphors, not for you. Even something like bemoaning a lack of spoons may make eating cereal harder.
Libra: You are, inevitably, the first one heard to say a situation isn’t fair. And it’s not, nor will it ever be. Instead of getting upset, have you ever considered getting revenge? That’s usually more satisfying in the long run.
Scorpio: Ugh, Scorpios. The position of Venus means your usually volatile emotions will be in the doldrums instead. Enjoy this while it lasts I guess. Who knows if you’ll ever experience such peace again, given, well. You’re kind of an emotional mess and no one likes you.
Sagittarius: There will never be another day like today. You must strive to make the day everything you want it to be. No mistakes, now! Consider your choices very carefully. Consider your choice to consider, very carefully.
SUNFIRE'S HEARTH
By Yorick Aberdeen
A photo of Mayor Poe's cats, Toffee and Butter, enjoying the view.
ASSORTED LOCATIONS - As the coldest part of the year settles over our fair isle, it is time for Sunfire’s Hearth--- an informal celebration of bonfires and hearth flames, for those unfamiliar! For the months of January and February, a raised platform for bonfires will be lit on weekends, and restaurants and taverns across town will keep their fireplaces lit. Unlike many of our other festivities, there is no structured celebration--- simply make some time during this time to bask in the warmth of a fire! You can even celebrate at home.
An additional benefit of this time of year is that Merrymeet is well on its way. So take this time and get snuggly in front of a fire with your special person to get in the mood for romance! (Or they could be platonic snuggles. Whatever suits you best.)
LOCAL ALCHEMIST REPORTS MISSING POTION
By Yorick Aberdeen
Some of Mx. Sallek's usual stock. Could stand to have better labels./p>
LOCATION UNCERTAIN - Early Monday morning, local alchemist Aeryn Sallek reported that a large container of magical potion has been swapped with another, and it would seem that the mistaken jug has been sent out for delivery. According to Mx. Sallek, they sent a number of jugs out for delivery in a case with our local delivery extraordinaire, Sam Porter Bridges. The jugs were meant to contain a harmless, potable freeze-resistance potion for our town’s various water sources, in the interest of keeping water reserves drinkable in sub-freezing winter weather. However, when they returned to the shop, one of these potions remained on their counter while a love potion they’d been working on went missing.
“‘Love potion’ is kind of a misnomer, honestly,” Mx. Sallek is quoted to have said on the matter. “But ‘emotional acuity’ potion doesn’t quite roll off the tongue. Basically what it actually does is enhance existing romantic desire and embolden the user to be emotionally open. But Yorick should already know all this, since he’s the one who ordered it.” [Editing note: don’t forget to cut the last part of that comment before publishing. Cecil, you don’t need to include personal statements directed at reporters from these interviews!]
It’s unclear which area of town this particular potion ended up being injected into the water source, but according to Mx. Sallek, the potion was not particularly intense to begin with. It should be significantly diluted as to be harmless. Still, if you notice any strange symptoms such as butterflies in your stomach, a desire to burst into song, or inexplicable yearning, please file a report with the Safety Board at your earliest convenience.
FOOD SHORTAGES PUT STRAIN ON ISLAND ECONOMY
By Yorick Aberdeen
MARKET DISTRICT - While there are many things to celebrate this time of year, Marrow Isle is not without its adversity. Over these past months, many new members of our community have arrived by ferry after our numbers remained small and stagnant for many years. And the presence of our newfound neighbors has been a boon to all of us. Many artisans have opened useful businesses, medical professionals have expanded our access to healthcare, and a new fishing vessel has taken to the seas. However, despite a few additions, our farming community remains quite modest and planting was not planned with such incredible new growth in mind.
The unfortunate result of this is that food reserves on the island this year are uncharacteristically low. As such, Town Council has made the difficult decision to allow for the temporary inflation of food prices and the rationing of food staples.
“We understand the hardship this will place on the residents of Pumpkin Hollow,” said Mayor Poe in a statement after this decision was made. “But please know that we are all in this together. We hope to be able to offer a better incentive package for those interested in farming in the coming springtime.”
Page 1
Aurora
The dead of winter sheds all colors of the trees and flowers across Marrow Isle, but tonight, there are no stark whites and grays and browns.
Tonight, in the sky sprawling with stars above the dreary town, there are lights.
Sprawling trails of violet and green twist and wave through the sky, brightening the earth below and the sea beyond Jack's Marina in magical colors. The return of the borealis is something many Pumpkin Hollowites look forward to, and their reactions are very clear: people scurry down to the shores to watch with wide eyes, many retrieve telescopes, and some even borrow the decks of ships, abandoned for the night at the docks, to watch the sights.
It doesn't take long for this to change, however; the sea nor land are safe from the curse, and it's made quickly apparent that the sky is no exception.
At first, the sight seems like none more than an illusion, perhaps someone blinking and missing a strange shift of the lights. A glimmering outline forms around a cluster of stars, only slightly harder than any of the lines that define the aurora's rays. Several of these shapes form, each array of stars different from the last, some larger, some smaller.
And then, the stars begin to fall.
Seeming to peel off the painted sky, the ebbing colors surrounding the starlight drop, crashing to the world below. Some fall to the streets and beaches, while others fall into the forest, leaving view, or drop into the sea, leaving splashes and waves in their wake that ensure any watching knows full and well that this is not a trick of the light. At first, these shapes are unmoving, glowing masses of aurora-light with stars shining brightly within them. Most townsfolk are uneasy, but this seems to pale in severity to the other disasters, even if they lack any idea of what it could mean for them.
That is, of course, until the masses begin to move.
Each one is as varied as the constellation it stole from the sky: stars form suggestions of skeletal structures, and their "flesh", only consisting of swimming lights and liquid sky that steals any lights around them. Two identical glowing shapes rise to a face finally taking form, and slowly, moving more like gel than animal as it rises to freshly-formed legs, it settles on the closest living thing it can find.
There is no calculation in it, nor what seems to be a glimmer of thought.
It simply lunges with intent to kill.
Cecil’s disconcerting horoscopes have the following effects for the next few days:
Horoscopes
[CW: Altered emotional states ]
(Don’t know your character’s sign? Feel free to just decide on one!)
Unbeknownst to the townsfolk, the “love” potion ended up in the water supply of the Oak & Iron. As promised by Aeryn, it is thoroughly diluted, as its recipients believed it to be a normal freeze-resistance potion to be mixed with their water. The effects are not particularly intense. However, anyone who drinks any of the tavern’s housemade ale or cider, drinks the coffee, or eats any food that might require water to cook will experience symptoms of “emotional acuity”. This involves feeling more emotionally open, more receptive to positive feelings about others, a strong desire for physical or verbal affection, and the intensification of romantic or sexual attraction that you might already be experiencing. It will last about half a day. Just in time to help potentially land you a date for Merrymeet, a flower and fertility festival in early spring!Love Potion
[CW: Altered Emotional States ]
Food rationing and inflation will have the following impact: Grocery budgets for apped-in characters will be reduced in their efficacy.
Basic groceries will be only the most minimal of staples. You will likely go hungry if you do not find a way to supplement this.
Bountiful groceries will be reduced to the amount of food normally contained in basic.
Lavish groceries will not be available at all.
Your grocery choices from Activity Check are not able to be modified for this month unless otherwise stated. Bonuses and Discounts associated with the Farmer and Fisherman jobs are also reduced.
Level 1 bonuses will be reduced to standard, which is to say how they would function for a non-Farmer/Fisherman character during a normal, pre-famine month. (ex. Whereas normally a Level 1 Farmer would get free Basic groceries, they will now have to pay the 50 Brass, but do not have the efficacy of Basic groceries reduced as described above.)
Level 2 bonuses will be reduced to that of a Level 1 Farmer/Fisherman. (ex. Whereas a Level 2 Fisherman would normally be able to have Bountiful groceries discounted to 50 Brass, they now must pay full price for Bountiful groceries. However, they can still get Basic groceries for free and don’t suffer from the famine induced efficacy reduction for either budget.) Oak & Iron Residents will only be able to receive bland, repetitive meals with their food vouchers consisting of simple broth, plain bread, bland potato dishes, and the like. It is enough to be fed and comfortable but it is incredibly unsatisfying. (This includes all new characters that are not apped-in.) Drinks, however, are still plentiful. Characters who do not eat will find that their respective sources of fuel will be reduced to just barely enough to keep them functional, provided that they ration carefully. (Ex. Transformers may want to be less active. Vampires will find that victims cannot handle excessive blood loss without fainting and generally prefer to stay home.) Characters who were present to fight the Mother Crab back in late summer and chose to can some of their crab can use it now! Hunting, foraging, and fishing can help reduce the impact of these reductions, and people can share their food. You can absolutely die of starvation. After Merrymeet in February, food will return to normal.Famine
[CW: Starvation and food scarcity ]
"Slasher Face" Jean | Project Moon | Existing Player
You can't just Catch More Fish, is the thing. Fishing ships aren't magic. The ecology is, which is good since Jean suspects local people going fishing is about to fucking devastate the waterways, but there's only so much space in the cargo hold, only so many crew members, only so much time in the day and the night. Thankfully the community seems to have acquired skilled hunters (Comrade Emery out here earning his paycheck, bless), so they will be spared Jean's crude attempts at the same.
So they just kinda gently start sacrificing a bunch of their free time to help out. Their labor can't magically make more food appear either, but Jean's used to being hungry, cold, and mean. They take these hits. New in town? Jean might be approaching you at Oak and Iron with sushi. For the farmers around the joint, especially any new ones, Jean is volunteering their eager and obedient services during their shore leave, anything to make it easier.
In addition to the actual help, the catch from Mipha's Grace is available at cost for the duration of the emergency, and Jean also has some fish soup recipes that might be handy to the enterprising Person Who Doesn't Want To Starve To Death. They won't fill you, but they will keep you alive on what seems like no food at all, and that's what counts.
Sorry First Aid. The nugget will be thinning again. It won't even be the fifth time they've had a bust after a relative food boon. They did tell you subsistence eating was a tactical choice...
A Discreet Advertisement | Love Potion | At The Steam Level You Bring To It TBQH
Posted to the Community Board is a small note:
Variety of subjects sought to model for anatomical and nude sketches in pursuit of artistic improvement. Compensation provided, pick your own venue, early morning or late evening preferred to as not to conflict with existing obligations. Please contact AGENT JEAN at [their phone number] during their shore leaves.
Guess who's constantly getting coffee at Oak and Iron. Go on. Guess.
...To Find Out Is Divine | Aurora | Injury, Abstract Gore
Jean has been a little lost on the score here of 'why is everyone going outside at night when y'all have clearly demonstrated an understanding that you should not do this under any circumstances' and look, oh boy, if it isn't the consequences of their fucking actions. For once they and the Wolf are in perfect harmony over how god damn fucking stupid this idea was, but now they have a job to do. Maybe they can salvage this into minimal losses and property damage, then good PR, in that order.
If you've signed up for the local levy, catch Jean barking orders to the Combat Team for containment tactics; if you're part of the Communication Team or the Medical Team, the shout is for evac duty.
Otherwise there's not a lot of time for orders. If you've joined this fight, or can't escape from it, there's a tiny five-foot person that you might have seen around town with their concerning smile and extremely polite nervous dog energy who is now utterly, completely, in their element, and they're here to fight alongside you.
Their first victim gets Jean on its shoulders before those awful claws start digging into its flesh.
Overtime
(Did you know, that phrase in English about 'eating humble pie' actually has to do with a medieval recipe for a pie made with minced deer offal? It was called 'umble pie' and got overcorrected to 'humble' even though the two words have nothing to do with each other.)
Even though he's still not entirely sure about associating with humans (bad outcomes in the past), Emery can sometimes be found in the open areas of town like the Festival Green. Just... sitting and resting, wrapped up in his dark winter cloak, often with a pensive look on his face.
He wouldn't mind having a chat with a 'co-worker', whether about famine mitigation or something else.
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Ignore Jean's player neglecting and forgetting to tag behind the curtain, this is clearly the fault of one of them being on a boat all the time and the other spending large amounts of time in the woods. Clearly. Definitely. We're going with that.
Speaking of boats actually, Jean waves as they pull a wagon loaded down with salt fish; a delivery for Oak & Iron. Their deathly fear of the tram system means they walk fucking everywhere, and could maybe use someone to walk with.
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He nods toward Jean's wagon. "You've had a hunt of your own, so to speak."
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He walks in silence for a moment, thinking. Then he says, "In the springtime, maybe we can set up community gardens in town. One to each neighborhood. Have the experienced farmers teach a little bit about it in the late winter, and then have each neighborhood set it up in spring. Or organize a part-time work force to assist on the established farms. For fishing, would having other people fix your tools help? Like repairing nets, or maybe making new ones?"
Damn OCs And Their One Liners
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Emery is thinking of killing people in terms of the famine -- that is, as a food source. He doesn't anticipate that things will get that dire, but some instinct not to make things worse by speaking the possibility aloud keeps him from elaborating.
"But you see what I'm thinking of, yes? Ways that the rest of the community can help those who produce the food we all need."
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A Discreet Advertisement
A chanced glance to the Community Board to catch up on things left a very interesting offer open to her, though. She'd never been a drawing model, of course, but it wasn't like Jean hadn't already seen her sans clothes, so it wasn't as though there was too much to be awkward about...
Well, you know what they say.
Fuck it. Why not?
Shoving as much of the initial awkwardness aside as she could, she made the call from the Oak & Iron, and with the details ironed out, it was off to Jean and Zelda's shared cabin. There was only a few fleeting seconds of hesitation at the door, where she took the opportunity to shove the jester hat that'd decided to materialize once again, into the closest foliage she could find, before she knocked.
Once Jean answered, she tried to give them the most confident smile she could manage. (It wasn't particularly confident, but she's trying her best!)
"Hey! Sorry for the wait, but I'm ready to get started if you are. So... uh. Lead the way!"
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because no one living in this house has paid for renovationsbut Jean does have a pretty obvious, well. Jean calls it their office. It is not an office. By no definition could it be considered an office, it's not even a separate fucking room, but it is a little work desk, and a chair, and drawings. Dozens and dozens of drawings tacked to the wall, sorted carefully on the desk, hanging in places from bits of string that droop near the ceiling. People are the main feature, though there are landscapes, technical drawings, cut-aways of plants and geological features. There, on the nearby window that is completely plastered in the pencil art, are scenes from Parade Day; they've been colored, only partly, with a rusty pigment like old blood.Many people Pomni has known or seen are featured here, and a few no one here has, because they're from Jean's world. All are depicted in candid moments; laughing, thinking, working especially.
"I do appreciate you answering the advertisement," Jean continues as they wander towards the kitchen; there's a carafe of coffee from Oak and Iron, and soon there will be two mugs of coffee, one for each of them. "I, hahaha, I have a bit of a reverse relationship to certain topics of artistic depiction...I'm so used to doing technical specs, blueprints, and reports, is the thing! Drawing clothing is something I do to avoid the anatomy that I don't draw! I'm hoping to get practice in..."
Hey Lord Erik, did you know that when you called Jean an artistic soul and they fobbed you off about it, you'd said something that would proceed to haunt them? 'cause it did.
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"I think I get that. I mean, if you started the other way around, blueprints would be pretty hard, so it makes sense that it works that way on the other side of things," She notes, taking a moment to gaze up at the wall of papers, admiring them quietly. They clearly had a knack for this sort of thing; all the people they've drawn in motion, little snapshots of people going about their lives, were impressive. It wasn't something she could even imagine doing with her own hands.
"I hope my anatomy being kind of..." She hems and haws over the exact word. "Weird like half the other people here isn't an issue. Also, I don't think I've ever been a reference for literally anything, so if the poses don't work, just let me know and I'll try something different."
With her disclaimer of Sorry I'm Clueless given, it was probably time to just get right into it, she figures. As soon as she's taken a sip of coffee (which was particularly good today - what's up with that?), she finds an unoccupied chair off to the side of the "office" to hold her things, and starts to disrobe.
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"You got me there! I guess with that said, anything specific you want to start us off, or should I just stand or sit while you get started?"
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With one last drink from the cup to prevent any sips needed too soon, Pomni takes a seat. She leans against the back of the chair, and, after some thought, shifts her sitting angle a bit to be able to lay her arm over the back of it. Maybe a little more dynamic than just sitting in the chair? She's not sure, but she hopes so, anyways.
"How's this?"
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By tradition I declare: damn OCs and their one-liners
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CW smut from here forward | Is it truly a TDM without someone banging
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Today In Bold Implications
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To Find Out Is Divine
She barks something in Aquan that patches a few of Jean's wounds and holds up a large stick she's enchanted, ready to cast something more offensive once she's sure she won't hit her new battle buddy.
CW abstract gore
They rip their way out of their victim's chest and land on the sandy beach covered in gel-like flesh. Their eyes snap up, and -
"...Fuck me. Saturation strike - comrade, the sky is falling."
And it is. The creatures are landing all over Marrow Island, and the beach is only the first wave.
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Secondly--- oh wow yeah, the sky really is falling. It's honestly a little overwhelming to look up and see all the forms of constellations falling from the aurora overhead. Ursa Major, Orion, Aries, Cygnus, Leo, Draco, holy absolute shit.
Okay. Deep breath, Mairi.
She sets a hand on Jean's shoulder and casts Guidance. Hopefully it will give them an edge. "Let's go, then."
Okay So I'm At Work Phone Tagging As I Can With Jean/Vika
This is a new comrade, not an Abnormality. Lobotomy Corporation is fallen. It's not the same...
"The people here need the chance to evacuate - can you slow these down?"
The question comes with furious gesturing at the civilians, guiding them to flee towards town.
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(Damn, really burning through these spell slots today. Thankfully all the ones she used before getting smooshed in Deadstone Cleft have been restored or this would be dicey.)
Mairi reaches for the sky, directing a concentrated moon beam down from above down onto the creatures to cut them off from the people running from them. Ghostly fire erupts on the celestial skin of each constellation, burning through their forms with a sizzling squeal like a kettle that is boiling. It is less than a minute before they've dissolved into stardust.
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It'll be at least a moment. They can be polite while running. "Your support is deeply appreciated, comrade! I'm Jean! Combat team for the local levy - it's nice to meet you!"
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To Find Out Is Divine
Hearing the shout for evac help, John heads towards the scene, but stops several times to grab a passer by.
"You! We got trouble down here--follow me, grab a familiar face if you see one!"
John stops six times to grab a random person. He arrives at where Jean's standing with eight men, varying sizes, all able bodied.
After sending two of them to head out and locate at least one doctor, he turns to Jean, focused and calm.
"Runners are the best we can do at the moment. Gimme a direction, I'll send guys out to play messenger."
I Sense There Might Need To Be A Timeskip In This Thread
Agreed(TM)
The three of them manage to distribute the weapons to every member of the levy they can find, and the tiny handful of volunteers John has currently taking direction under him. He assigns a runner to each of the medics, leaves a couple others to carry word between teams handling the fighting, and the rest stay with him to help where they can and carry any messages Jean needs relayed to the rest of the volunteers.
John isn't fully aware of how much time passes. He doesn't keep count of the handful of fights he gets into not because he sought them out, but because they came to him and to his superior.
It's strange, not to be on the front line--but he finds familiar satisfaction in adherence to the mission, in following orders well.
It's still the kind of war he was made to fight, and ultimately it's...it's still good to finish with fewer wounds and aches than usual.
It's even better to fight a war he's actually allowed to win.