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ph_memes2026-03-08 07:05 pm
TDM #14 - Bloom and Doom
Pumpkin Hollow Gazette
3/11/26 - 6/10/26 | TDM #14 - TDM TITLE
Spring Pokémon Types - Grass, Fairy, Ground, Bug, Normal
WELCOME TO PUMPKIN HOLLOW
By Yorick Aberdeen
The crop for which the town is named. (And a celebrity guest--- say hello to Christopher Mango, one of the temple cats!)
Springtime greetings, and a blessed reawakening of the earth to you, Pumpkin Hollowites! It's everyone's favorite time of year again. The snow is melting, the trees are budding, and the flowers are slowly starting to rise from their slumber and stretch their petals out. If you're just arriving to the island, you'll be seeing her in her prime, with the blessings of Serranai painting the world technicolor. Our main festival this time of year was Merrymeet, which has sadly already come and gone, but we look forward to welcoming you for our spring equinox potluck--- assuming it isn't ruined again by forces beyond our control, orchestrated by beings beyond our mortal comprehension.
We invite any newcomers, as with all those who came before you, to enjoy your stay at the Oak & Iron tavern inn while you settle in. (Or the Autumn Leaves Dormitory House, for the newly arrived youngsters.) Please stop by Town Hall to discuss opportunities for work and more permanent housing! All newcomers get 100 Brass in their pocket upon arrival, so we encourage you to take advantage of this as well. Reach out to your neighbors for help if you need it, and don’t forget to pick up your copy of the Pumpkin Hollow Gazette whenever you need the local news!
SPRING WEATHER REPORT
By Phil Connors
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.
Put away your snow coats and take out your rain coats, folks; the long winter is finally at a close, and the cold snaps are giving way to fresh fields. Early in the season the lingering cool weather will give us some lovely dewy mornings and dramatic sunrises as the days get longer. Expect balmy temperatures and lush growth as we get closer to summer. Rainbows are also likelier to occur this time of year than any other: we’ll be seeing regular rain showers throughout the season to help wash away all our winter slush and perk up those flowers, to the pleasure of all the birds who needed a shower anyway, and the dismay of all the insects who haven’t invented umbrellas yet. Be sure to jump on your spring cleaning earlier than later. Everyone likes a fresh start, and knowing this island, it’s probably going to send a monster that lives in piles of dust and unfolded laundry or something.
CLEAN UP YOUR ACT, PUMPKIN HOLLOW!
By Mettaton
Break out your broomsticks!
It's time for Spring Cleaning, darling readers! You know what that means? Well, it apparently means we're all getting helpers this year for this task! How fortunate~ A local tribe of funny little fellows called "treasure elves" have made an agreement with Miss Dahlia Leeds and offered to assist everyone with cleaning their living spaces or shops! This rambunctious group of fuzzy, bunny-earred, pointy toothed girls are eager motivate and help you! In fact, they insist. Why, their small size and boundless energy is perfect for reaching every little nook and cranny. They'll chase away those dustbunnies in no time!
As their species' name suggests though, you may want to check your belongings after they're done, especially if you didn't accept their offer. (How utterly heartless of you to turn away these cuties!)
FLORAL FRUSTRATIONS MOUNT DUE TO CURSED BOUQUETS
By Yorick Aberdeen
A gift or a warning?
The showers of early spring and late winter always bring spring flowers, and this year's transition of the seasons has brought the flowers directly to our doors! Lovely bouquets in vibrant assortments of flowers have been found at the doorsteps of our local townsfolk, assembled with care and placed in paper, vases, or decorative baskets.
Every rose has its thorns, though, and these flowers are no exception - though seemingly mundane in nature, these marvelous medleys seem to carry with them some manner of curses. The effect varies by bouquet, as we here at the Gazette have heard. Some effects are as mild as being somewhat disorienting, and others have been as severe as the recipient finding themselves lost in the wilderness, or even earning the vicious attention of our local wildlife.
There seem to be some commonalities between certain flowers, but this reporter never did manage to learn the language of florists. Any members of our community who may have insight onto this matter are encouraged to arrange a meeting at Town Hall to share what they know! One detail could be all the difference for the fate of your neighbors.
CAN YOU DIG IT? ARCHEOLOGICAL MARVEL FOUND ON NORTH END
The stuff of legends.
By Timothy Stoker
A small flood near Eeltooth Lagoon to the north caused enough of a shift to partially expose the skull of a fossilised dragon. A massive and shocking discovery, this has led to the organisation of Pumpkin Hollow's first archeological dig. Dr. Elias Coldwood leads the charge, with Dahlia Leeds and the Historical Society footing the bill, but without access to the academic organisations on the mainland, it seems the dig site is shy of its most important feature--- diggers. If you're interested in volunteering to help with the excavation of this enormous ancient dragon and helping make global history right here on Marrow Isle, sign-ups are taking place at Town Hall and are projected to have open availability all through the end of May! Helping out is also incentivised--- any treasure from the dragon's hoard that isn't substantially historically relevant enough to be taken for preservation is up for grabs to anyone who lends a hand.
That said, it is worth mentioning that folks who have already been involved with the dig to some extent have reported "strange things" happening around the dig site, particularly after dark. Reports vary somewhat, but like many things around Pumpkin Hollow, the dig site does appear to be haunted in some capacity. Be careful to keep your wits about you while digging, and if you are an occult specialist, it's worth knowing that there are also sign-ups to study the paranormal activity as well. Happy digging!
DECEPTION AT LAKE SAL-CO-PENN TURNS DEADLY SWEET
By Melanie King
You do not recognize the lover in the water.
There are certain hazards on the island that we all learn to ignore, after a while, and one of those is the horrifically cursed Lake Sal-Co-Penn, out in Lockwood Forest. Ever since June of 16:53, the lake has been host to a dangerous illusion of bodies in the water that appear, to any unfortunate visitors, to be people you know. Those who attempt to rescue these individuals by entering the lake very rarely make it out unscathed, dragged into the depths by whatever really inhabits the bodies in the water.
Of course, by now, most people know the pattern and how to avoid being lured in. Good, news right? Wrong! It seems in response to an increasing lack of victims, the lake's behaviour has changed. Reports now reaching us from victims and bystanders say that they have witnessed living bodies in the water, seemingly beckoning you to walk in and join them with the faces of loved ones. People you trust. The results of following them is the same.
Do not trust anyone you see in the lake. Do not look at their face. Do not follow them. This is the only warning I can give you. The rest is up to you.
WICKED WEDDING BELLS (AND A RAVENOUS REGISTRY)
By Timothy Stoker
A charming engagement photo sent to the radio station.
Ahh, spring time. Season of fertility and romance. And for some, the perfect time for a wedding. We already saw one wedding over Merrymeet, our early spring festival, and several new engagements are floating around if the rumors hold any water, which means that there are weddings yet to come. It's an exciting time for many couples! Including one couple you already know. A shy dust-bowl boy meets an elegant, mysterious girl with a surprisingly high body count, and the rest is history…
Yes, that's right, Yuki-Onna and the Dirt Man have marked the date for their wedding in May. I'm sure many of you remember the bossa nova playing demon cowboy who would break into our homes in the dead of night and kidnap anyone who didn't leave him an offering of loose dirt under their pillow that plagued the island several years ago, right? Well, the murderous snow spirit who was looking for love this past winter has finally met her perfect match, and wedding bells are ringing!
Don't bother saving the date, of course. None of us are invited, as it's meant to be a "close, intimate ceremony for family and close friends only". But they did kindly release a statement to the Pumpkin Hollow Gazette that they only somewhat threatened us into publishing, which states that they do expect everyone on the island to supply wedding gifts, "or else." While they didn't elaborate on what that meant, they were very descriptive about their wish list, which includes, "warm-weather clothing and beach supplies for the honeymoon, home goods, bath towels, skin care items, baby supplies and nursery decor, high-quality soil, interesting rocks, or just money."
Couple of bridezillas, if you ask me, but considering their unsettling history, it's probably wise to pony up. Though they didn't exactly explain how they would be collecting these items, so… I guess just keep something on hand? Good luck, all. However, it does seem that they'll be leaving the island permanently after they get married, so at least come summer we'll be able to rest easy knowing these two will no longer be breathing down our necks. Congratulations to the happy couple, and good riddance.
SOCIALIZE SWIFTLY FOR A GOOD CAUSE THIS SPRING
By Mettaton
A table for two, please!
A fun charity event from last year is making its return! The "Swift Social", held at the Festival Green every Wednesday evening. (Or the Oak & Iron in case of rain.) A reimagining of the classic speed-dating get-together, this particular event allows for all sorts of relationships, whether romantic or platonic! Sometimes people just need a little nudge to find the right companion. ♥
You're making friends/partners not just for yourselves, but for a good cause, darlings~ As with last year, all proceeds go to the medical community and the Autumn Leaves Dormitory House for Young Residents!
Thank you for reading!
Spring Cleaning
Per the meeting between a large, fluffy elf named Zimomo and Miss Leeds, the town is abuzz with life, the chattering of the smaller elves going from place to place and offering their assistance in your much needed spring cleaning fills the air. They seem friendly enough, if not a bit mischievous, and they appear to mean well... but looks can be deceiving. Perhaps its due to their limited knowledge of human languages? Or perhaps it's just the nature of elves in general. Or at least this sort of elves, who are a little different than the ones native to Concorde.
Should you accept their help, you'll have a lovely time working with them. Their attitude, energy, and willingness to have you work with them seems almost infectious, helping to motivate you until everything is sparkling! Why, you'll even find they leave you a gift the next morning for working with them — a small bag of various treasures: jewels, coins (unfortunately not Brass but they are very pretty), wood-made charms. It's entirely up to you what you do with these gifts but at the very least you should hang on to the charms. Though you may find yourself struggling to keep up with them as time goes on--- after all, cute little critters who may or may not have been bribed to help with cleaning by their elder brother with treats tend to have a lot of stamina. And you better not slack off either! If you have time to lean, you have time to clean! And also you're a lot taller than these little elves so can you please get your butt out of that chair and dust the high shelves???
Should you refuse their help, they will barge in anyways in a far less friendlier manner. They'll still get the job done, of course, but what you experience that night is less than pleasant. You'll wake up to nibble marks on your arms, your ankles, and even some of your belongings stolen! Maybe if you chase them down you can get your things back, but good luck catching them. Maybe it should be a team effort.
Also, Knuxie, a mod-helper who had the idea for this prompt, has kindly offered to write the treasure elves for a handful of threads! Please mark your prompt as being open to these threads if you are interested. Maybe you can mark them as "OTLBB"? (translation: Open to Labubu) You can also ping Knuxie in the discord server if you're a member!
Flower Deliveries
Knock knock! You've got a delivery! It's a beautiful bouquet, apparently from a secret admirer or mysterious friend. How exciting! Unfortunately, each of these bouquets comes with a magical curse attached, whose nature is hinted at by the flowers chosen. See, since this a Victorian era setting, floriology is all the rage these days, so the flowers you receive have hidden meanings which will clue you in. Here's the different bouquets available, and what they do:Amaryllis - "Forsaken" - Those who receive a bouquet of amaryllis flowers will find that the next time they go to sleep, they'll wake up in some remote location on the island. The wilderness? A boat off the shore of the beach? Some forgotten mineshaft? The world is your extremely inconvenient oyster. Maybe you can find someone else who's lost to join you on your trek home.There are 10 total curses, so roll a D10 to randomize your misery or choose your favorite way to suffer, and feel free to take some artistic liberties with how they manifest to emphasize horror or shenanigans to your taste. Unless otherwise stated, the duration of the curse is up to you. Have fun!
Begonia - "Beware" - Recipients of these beautiful begonias will quickly discover that the cost of this lovely display is running afoul of some terrible creature the next time they're out and about. The nature of the beast is up to the player, so long as it's sufficiently dangerous as to risk injury or even death. (Don't worry, you'll be back tomorrow, good as new.)
Belladonna - "Silence" - A flower whose name means "beautiful woman," but whose reputation as a poison precedes her. You're not at risk of death with this bouquet, but you'll be as silent as the grave, as receiving this curses you with the inability to use your voice for 24 hours.
Borage - "Bluntness" - This darling little flower is more common in bee and butterfly gardens than bouquets, but should you receive a bundle of them, you'll find yourself a little more honest than usual. Maybe a little too honest, in fact, as you'll be blurting out "inside thoughts" at inopportune moments, and they'll come out meaner than you'd prefer. Tell us how you really feel, why doncha.
Columbine - "Foolishness" - Receiving a bouquet of lovely columbine flowers will fill your head with fog and whimsy, and maybe make you a little wobbly. Affectionate, silly, and totally out of it, you'll probably seem a bit drunk. But at least it's the fun kind of drunk?
Crocus - "Youth" - These flowers are so lovely, they'll take a few years off you--- literally. Get your hands on this bouquet and turn back the clock, transforming into a younger version of yourself. Whether you're a rowdy teenager, a younger kid, or a toddler who needs constant adult care will vary from person to person, as well as how much the transformation impacts things like memory.
Tansy - "Hostility" - It's like being struck by Cupid's bow, but he used the wrong arrows. Receiving a bouquet of tansy flowers will cause you to instantly fall in hate with a random person. It's not meant to be permanent, but depending on how far it ends up going, you might just have an enemy for life!
Gladiolus - "Victory" - Ever wondered what it'd be like to become a fairy tale knight? Wonder no longer--- with a delivery of these sword-like flowers, you'll become convinced of your knightly status. Fight for the honor of innocent civilians, challenge ruffians to duels, go on honorable quests, and take oaths of loyalty to people, places, objects--- whatever strikes your gallant fancy. (Think Sir Didymus from the Labyrinth. Feel free to go totally over the top.)
Lotus - "Enlightenment" - Recipients of these delicate flower arrangements will find themselves enlightened to the point of detriment. Become burdened with great and terrible revelations, and know far, far too much for your own good. Some of the information you obtain by force may not even be true, but you'll have a terribly hard time telling the difference.
Zinnia - "Constancy" - For this bouquet's curse, we decided to bring back a beloved classic from one of our very first TDMs! Recipients of zinnias will find that no matter where they go or what they do, at an inopportune time, there will be a goat present. Sometimes several. It might not even be the same goat each time. But that goat will always want one thing--- blood. For an indeterminate length of time, zinnia recipients will be cursed to suffer from random goat attacks.
Fossil Dig
The fossil dig can be found, as Tim mentioned, along the eastern edge of Eeltooth Lagoon to the north of the island. Located shallowly off the treeline of Lockwood Forest, the lagoon itself is situated on the Bluffs, which means that the edges of the shoreline are sheer rock faces raised up off the water by a fair distance. While jumping into the lagoon is technically safe, getting out will prove difficult, and it is also quite close to the notorious Ripjaw Falls, so tread carefully.The dig site is an encampment with tents set up for people to just stay there overnight, as it is quite a substantial hike back to town, and takes up about the space of a baseball field if you include the dragon, which seems to have died laying directly on top of its treasure pile. Typical. There are many treasures to be found here, however, and while some of them will need to be taken for study, there are plenty that are just completely up for grabs!
Unfortunately, though, another thing this dragon had been hoarding was lost souls, which have now been freed by the dig. Many of them are just confused and traumatized, wandering aimlessly around the dig site in various degrees of visibility, reliving their deaths or other traumatic memories. Others, however, are vengeful, and looking to terrorize anyone they can find with horrifying visions. Some are even capable of genuine harm.
Anyone who completes a thread at the dig site consisting of at least 10 tags total (5 from each player) can pick a prizes from this handy dandy pinboard. You get one item for a day time/digging thread and three for a night time/paranormal experience thread! Duplicates are fine (i.e. you can get the same item someone else does) and the reward can only be redeemed as many times as desired, but be aware that these items aren't enchanted nor can they be traded for money, and they are for aesthetic purposes only. Also it's worth mentioning that a 10-tag thread is conveniently our AC length, so you'll still get a payout if you're a permanent player, or if you become one!
Lake Sal-Co-Penn [cw: drowning, hypnosis]
Lake Sal-Co-Penn first became affected by the SCP-2316 back in June '23 and has been a background fixture of the game since then. You can see Lake Sal-Co-Penn on the setting map, deep in Lockwood Forest on the way up to Crane's Ridge. Until now its behaviour has mimicked the original SCP directly, but it's now taken on a new twist by using the illusion of living people.
The lure will take on the appearance of a loved one, beckoning you to join them in the water. Looking at this lure for more than a couple of seconds triggers a powerful cognitohazardous effect, drawing characters into the water by making them wholeheartedly believe that the lure is their loved one. More bodies will then appear, and the victim will be drowned. Once a character is under this effect, they will not be able to resist unless affected by an outside force—aka, another character helping them. But of course, helpers will also have to be careful not to be drawn in.
Any character that dies as a result of interaction with the lake will respawn after spending 24 hours as a ghost, as usual for the setting.
Wedding Gifts
On a prior summertime TDM, the Dirt Man became known for breaking into people's homes by night and dragging them from their homes to submerge them in a dirt pile under Crane's Ridge if they didn't leave an offering of a handful of dirt. On this past winter TDM, a Japanese snow spirit called the Yuki-Onna decided she was ready to settle down, and would threaten residents into dating her and attack them if the date was not to her liking. Sometime in between, the two met, fell in love, and decided to get married right away! What a beautiful love story.Except now they expect you, their victims, to foot the bill for their honeymoon, their new home, and their nursery for any impending progeny. How entitled.
In order to collect, the two of them will be going door to door by night. If one of them shows up to your door, you'd better pay up--- or pay the price. If it's the Dirt Man visiting, he'll likely drag you through the streets to the forest to be buried alive, while Yuki-Onna's methods are more varied. She might fill your home with snow and ice and freeze your door shut, leaving you for dead, or she might try to drag you to the river or the sea and drown you with icy hands that sting you with frostbite and make it harder to struggle. Or she might just stab you, that happens too.
So what can a friend do? If you're looking to help one of the pair's victims, you can either try to fight them off, trick them, or fork over your own gift to buy the other person some time. If someone's frozen into their home, you can also help them escape! These two monsters may be making a silly request, but their dangerous tendencies are no joke.
Swift Social
Under the Swift Social toplevel posted from the mod account, join the fun by posting a starter with the provided code to create a profile card! Then comment on someone else’s starter with one of the following icebreaker questions to get started:Which would be more surprising to see on your doorstep, a unicorn or a walrus?Be advised that you must post a comment with your profile card so that any Swift Social partners you have can reference it for your age and preferences.
If you could commit any crime with no consequences, what would it be?
If you were caught in a trap and the only way to escape from it with your life was to do something genuinely impressive, what would be your approach?
If you had to live on only one food for the rest of your life, what would you choose?
If you were held at knife point and instructed by your assailant that you must call someone on their sending stone, and if they do not answer, you die, who would you call?
Which would be most frightening to encounter in a dark alley: a ghost, an alien, or a horse?
If you could have any wish granted for you, no matter how big or small, what would it be? (Cannot ask for more wishes, that’s cheating!)
What’s a subject that you could confidently teach an hour-long class on with no preparation?
If you could instantly become an expert in any skill, what would you choose?
Make your own!
no subject
"What?" He really shouldn't be surprised, but he is. How is that? Two different times, entirely. Is he living pre-Return of the King Oscars sweep, or post? No, that would be a ridiculous question. "How the hell is that?" There's a fucking Labubu gnawing on the table leg. Wrong question, but he doesn't realize that. Ethan just thinks with his remarkably normal brain and comes out with how do you end up with two people from two different decades talking to each other?
"2004 was thirteen years ago."
no subject
"All right," he says. "Before I answer that properly, I wanna make sure we're roughly on the same page. You got here on the ferry, right? After talking to a woman with white hair about getting a second shot at - whatever it is you were doing back home. That sound about right?"
It's been a while since he's done the full welcoming committee introduction, but he's still a practiced hand at it. This is all stuff he expects he already knows the answer to, but it's good to touch base both to establish he knows what he's talking about and just on the off chance that something has changed about the onboarding process.
no subject
There's a wiggling feeling inside of him that something is wrong with him, inherently, deeply. He can pinpoint the exact moment he felt tethered to Dulvey, but he can't accept the concept of that; there's no way he's dead. (Because he and Leon are manifestly having this conversation. Clearly. That's why.)
If there's another way to get here, though... Ethan clears his throat.
"Yeah— yes. The whole spiel. You died, somehow. Makes no sense, I got us out."
no subject
"Anyway, I'm gonna circle back to that 'I got us out' in a second, but to answer your earlier question? This is gonna sound completely insane, but a whole bunch of us here got that same deal with Mortanne - the white-haired woman - from all over time and space. You think of the universe as, like, I don't know, a bubble moving along the timeline, right?"
He traces a circle with his fingertip on the table, almost more of an idle gesture than an actual attempt to demonstrate anything.
"Well this is a different bubble, on a different timeline. And most people who got here by ferry got here from third and fourth and fifth bubbles entirely, and so on, from any point in time that that bubble existed on." He keeps tracing circles on the table, just to have something to do with his hands. "In fact, the odds of you and me having been around for the same version of 2004 are pretty slim, unless 'the Raccoon City Incident' means anything to you."
no subject
"I'm an engineer," Ethan offers softly, gaze following the loop Leon traces into the table. He pictures a bubble, as Leon illustrates it, pictures his own little life in there. Right now, he was supposed to be arguing with an agent, he thinks. He's pretty sure. (Sometimes he wonders...) He's also pretty sure that sitting in on quantum physics would have made this explanation a lot easier for him to process; a lot of his fellow engineering majors were doing quantum physics, or whatever it was called. When he looks back up to Leon, it's to find some kind of emotion, some kind of tell. This is all bullshit, somehow. He keeps going back and forth between it. All this, and no Mia? Again? Really? She'd probably get this bubble stuff way easier.
He's an engineer and none of this should really sound new to him, but it does.
Surprise flits through his frame at the mention of Racoon City Incident. "Guess you better buy a lottery ticket, then," he says, emphatically. "Yeah, I remember it. I was 14, but it was all over the news. That how you know the director of the CIA?"
no subject
"Huh," he says. "Well, shit. Okay then." He was not expecting that! Wasn't it Daisy who said most people who turned up from the same universe in these places tended to already be connected in some way? He guesses she never said that was a hard and fast rule, but it still comes as a bit of a surprise.
"But yeah, it's a long story. I was, uh, there when it happened, and got kicked up the chain of command to tell everyone what I saw so many times I could probably still recite the debriefing for you. Benford wasn't the director of the CIA at the time, but..." He shrugs, again, and hurries to change the subject before they can linger too long on Raccoon City.
"Anyway, maybe that was a bad example, but the point is we aren't in Kansas anymore. You won't find Marrow Isle on any map of the Earth, and if you talk to any of the other people who got here the same way we did, it's like a 50-50 shot they come from some other universe, too." He considers getting into how weird those other universes can get, what with the magic and the faster-than-light travel and, even weirder in its own way, paralleling everything about their Earth just without the one specific tragedy that fucked everything up for everybody, but maybe he should let Ethan ease into that. He probably wouldn't take his word for it, anyway.
no subject
"Long story short, everyone else is from an alternate world, except me and you." He gestures limply with his index finger, from Leon to himself. "Us." He considers this for a moment, then decides he has too much to worry about, and says, "Alright." You have to pick your battles, sometimes, and he suspects that trying to stubbornly stay within his own pool of understanding is not one that he will win, Ethan suspects.
"Alright. Want to know anything about the future? Treaty's still in effect." Anything to not circle back to I got us out, if he can manage it.
no subject
Again, he'll let Ethan get to that when he gets to it. For now, the forbidden fruit that is future knowledge hangs over his head, tantalizing as can be. He hesitates. The thing he wants to ask is if it happens again - Raccoon City, Terragrigia, cities being overrun with BOWs and blasted into nothing to stop the spread - or if they actually learned their lessons after the second time. But does he actually want to know the answer?
He looks away, thinking about it for a long moment, before shaking his head.
"Nah, you'd better not tell me. I don't want to accidentally wink someone out of existence by killing the wrong butterfly or something," he says, deadpan. "But if you have any other questions about how all this works or what's going on here, I'd be happy to try to answer them. It's not exactly what this event is for but I won't tell anyone we're breaking the rules if you don't."
He does, still, intend to circle back as promised/threatened, but getting this guy settled and oriented is first priority.
no subject
Truthfully, Ethan's not very sure that he shouldn't tell Leon something about the future. Maybe this is his chance— whatever Mia's up to, a guy with connections to the CIA getting a tip might be the breakthrough Ethan needs. The police hadn't been helpful, but... (He's not even embarrassed that Leon's enough of a boy scout to make the empathetic choice here, to make sure he doesn't ruin the timeline. Ethan kind of wishes someone would, honestly.)
Clearing his throat, he says, "Yeah. Bubbles. I get the gist. I, uh, I'm oriented. I just really hoped she'd be here." Half-truth. He's spent years looking for her, it's hard not to fall into it again.
"Shit. Am I supposed to be asking you things from the card?"
no subject
He shrugs. He's not gonna be the fun police about it, certainly.
That's his day job, and he's off the clock right now."Anyway. She might show up, still - like we were talking about, time works funny here." He hesitates, considering pointing out that she might still be at home, alive. If she's been missing for as long as Ethan says, though... well. He knows the statistics, on that front. Maybe better not to risk opening up that particular wound with contextless platitudes. Instead he settles on; "I hope you can find her, though. Here, or - wherever else."
no subject
...Bill me for the therapy later," he jokes tiredly.
no subject
He shakes his head, deciding to start that sentence over.
"That makes sense. There's a lot of people I miss but wouldn't want to see here for the obvious reasons." One of whom just showed up recently! And it's not all bad, it does mean she's got a chance at going home same as he does, but boy does it not feel great to know she died on his watch and has to go through all this with him.
"It's fine, it's on the house, courtesy of me putting my foot in my mouth. I'd point you to an actual therapist but the local one turned out to be an eldritch being in disguise and disappeared, so I don't think he's taking new clients at the moment."
Said in deadpan exhaustion.
no subject
"They all are," he says, flatly. "Something tells me bake sales aren't really Marrow Isle's speed."
no subject
"This place is... weirdly quaint, when it's not being overrun by monsters and demons and shit. I mean, we're doing platonic speed dating for charity right now. This is what we get up to in our spare time."
Genuinely, the most genuine small town hospitality type stuff Leon's experienced in his whole life has been here. It kind of boggles the mind. Though he'd be kind of remiss if he didn't mention...
"It's just, the time we don't have to spare is usually spent running from some disaster or another. Like eldritch therapists."
no subject
A lightbulb suddenly goes off within his brain, neurons connecting dots like stars in a constellation. "You seem pretty bothered by this therapist thing." Which, to be fair, Ethan is also pretty bothered by therapists. "What, did they break HIPAA?"