TDM #12 - Give 'em Pumpkin to Talk About [FIRST EDITION]

[pumpkinhollow]

Pumpkin Hollow Gazette: Fall Issue 2025

We ask that all toplevels include the age of the character (or at least a rough estimate) for TDM posts, to ensure that players both old and new can quickly make informed decisions about how to interact with a given character. We also ask that if someone lists a prompt as having an age preference, that it be respected. This is specifically for TDMs unless otherwise stated. Thank you!

Pumpkin Hollow Gazette

9/18/25 | TDM #12 - Give 'em Pumpkin to Talk About [First Edition]
Fall Pokémon Types - Ghost, Dark, Flying, Electric, Poison

WELCOME TO PUMPKIN HOLLOW

By Yorick Aberdeen

The crop for which the town is named.

Ahh, Autumn! The time of year when Pumpkin Hollow is at its most vibrant and beautiful. If this is your first day on Marrow Isle, then you’ve arrived at the perfect time!

Due to some unexpected weather difficulties, our harvest this year will be somewhat leaner than other years, but not to worry! Our local earth mages, druids, and garden witches have it under control! Now that the skies are under Mother Celestine’s jurisdiction once more, there will be plenty of food to enjoy over PumpkinFest--- which will run in Downtown Hollow for the entire season this year! Please grab yourself a festival schedule from Town Hall, the Oak & Iron, or the newsstand outside Pinhole Printing and Binding for more information about this season’s most treasured festivities celebrating the export which gave this town its name.

We invite you, as with all those who came before you, to enjoy your stay at the Oak & Iron tavern inn while you settle in. (Or the Autumn Leaves Dormitory House, for the newly arrived youngsters.) Please stop by Town Hall to discuss opportunities for work and more permanent housing! All newcomers get 100 Brass in their pocket upon arrival as well, so we encourage you to take advantage of this as well. Reach out to your neighbors for help if you need it, and don’t forget to pick up your copy of the Pumpkin Hollow Gazette whenever you need the local news!

A final side note before we get into seasonal updates --- the Pumpkin Hollow Gazette wishes to proudly welcome Mettaton to our writing staff! We hope that you enjoy his first contributions to our paper. Additionally, we wish to congratulate Melanie King and Phil Connors for their Outstanding Press Award, presented to them by Town Hall after the weather disaster that occurred in August. They deserve it! The remaining two writers, Yorick Aberdeen and Timothy Stoker, could not be more proud of our incredible colleagues.

Now, on to the news! Happy Fall, Pumpkin Hollow!

AUTUMN WEATHER REPORT

By Phil Connors

The views around Leeds Estate are gorgeous this time of year!

It's time for a change, folks, and you'll be happy to know that this one's a lot more gradual than last month! Summer's on her way out and it's Autumn's turn to move in. Start putting out your jackets and add a layer to your blankets. Early in the season we'll start seeing a rise in brisk, windy days, and more frequent light rains, but a lot less thunderstorms. As the season goes on the temperatures will keep dropping and we'll even start to see some morning mist, and even later, morning frost. It's a beautiful sight; just don't use it to decorate your cakes.

Not everyone is going to be all prepped for the weather, however. Clean-up from the last month's mayhem is still ongoing, and there's plenty to do. The farms need help cleaning up their fields and tending their animals, deliveries need to be made, and just about everyone needs repairs to their house and a brand new wardrobe. Check in at Town Hall--or just on your neighbors--for some guidance on where to get started.

A NAME SO NICE, YOU SAY IT THRICE (ACTUALLY, PLEASE DON'T)

By Timothy Stoker

As part of a recent string of incidents involving what appear to be beloved seasonal intellectual properties in some worlds, we’ve got some unexpected visitors out in Fall’s Promise Cemetery! A number of remarkably-tangible interdimensional dead (well, deader than us, anyway) have set up a wonderfully weird oddities fair on the cemetery grounds, where they appear to be trapped. The fair includes unusual scientific specimens, darkly unique art pieces, allegedly cursed objects, fortune telling, and chilling performances by talented spectral visitors. It serves as a properly spooky complement to the activities of Pumpkinfest.

However, fair-goers should be warned that there is a scam artist among the crowd. Reports of an individual persuading live residents to speak his name three times in a row have been flooding the constabulary, indicating that this unusual incantation allows this particular ghost to escape the cemetery. From there, he will drag his generous benefactor and potentially several other people along for his nonsense, which allegedly may include (but is not limited to) petty crime, destructive party behavior, wingmanning for unwelcome flirting, and somewhat sub-par stand-up comedy routines. The perpetrator, who constables have dubbed “BJ” so as not to accidentally unleash him by saying his full name, should be avoided at all costs. Unless the above sounds like a fun way to spend a Friday night. The Pumpkin Hollow Gazette would never deliberately encourage unhealthy or illegal behavior, but we are also not your mother. Who are we to tell you how to live your life?

All that said, though, the Pumpkin Hollow Board of Safety and the Department of Supernatural Affairs both have a great deal of concern regarding what this outbreak of fourth-wall-breaking dimension-hoppers could mean. “BJ” is not the only such example we’ve seen around--- offworld residents originating from more modern time periods have recognized at least a half-dozen iconic characters from Halloween classics just traipsing around the island. Port Authority has stated they have no record of any of these individuals arriving by ferry--- so where are they coming from? It seems only time will tell. We can only hope that this situation will not continue to escalate. But it probably will, knowing this place.

INEXPLICABLE HAUNTED HOUSE COMMITS PETTY CRIME

By Melanie King

Signs have already been placed on the lawn to dissuade entry.

If you've seen a new house on your street that wasn't there the last time you looked, don't worry, you're not going crazy—at least, not for that reason. All across town, from Downtown to Northwest Hollow and even as far as the Bluffs, a mysterious, rickety old house has been appearing in places it has no right to be and stealing objects it has no right to steal. Any stray belonging that crosses its boundary line is forfeit. Hats, balls, kites, stray shoes—if you can drop it, it'll be gone the second you so much as blink, leaving no trace except the slam of the shutting door.

Attempting to retrieve these items is not advised. Reports suggest that the house itself is alive and dangerous, its very structure and fittings possessed by some sort of spirit or energy that animates the building, attempting to trap and kill those who dare to step onto its porch. So maybe consider whether getting back that hat is really worth the risk—and, well, if you decide you really can't live without it, who am I to stop you? Just do us a favour and report back what you see on the inside if you chance it.

WARNING TO PROSPECTIVE FORESTERS: DON'T LOOK UP!

By Yorick Aberdeen

Best not.

As the leaves change colors in our own Lockwood Forest, many of our townsfolk may be inclined to take a trek into the woods for a myriad of reasons: mushroom-hunting, fruit-picking, or even just lovely strolls through the freshly-fallen leaves. However, Town Hall urges residents to take extreme caution with their ventures into Lockwood Forest, due to an unseen threat that prowls through the thickets.

Our reporters have only been given scarce information about the findings in the woods, but so far, we have come to understand that something in the forest is that something is hunting those who are alone and disorienting groups into separating through hallucinations and "flashbacks." Bodies of those captured are hoisted into the trees, in such a way that seems to hope to be discovered by some poor passerby. Those who have returned to tell the tale struggle to describe what killed them, but have said that they recall it being quite large, bearing hooves, strange hands, and massive antlers. (Ms. Leeds was approached for comment, and gladly quelled any rumors of potential involvement.)

Most troubling yet is that bodies are discovered in their passing moments, but sometimes well after death. Experts at Town Hall urge anyone who has the feeling of being watched to leave the forests as quickly as possible. If you or a loved one has seen something similar to what we've described, please alert the constabulary to submit a report of any sightings while the solving of this mystery is underway.

APPLES, PUMPKINS, AND POTLUCKS - OH MY!

By Mettaton

Doesn't get much better than this!

It's the most wonderful time of year, darling readers! (Or so we've been told.) The smell of fall is in the air, the leaves are turning, and the nights are coming along more quickly but that doesn't mean we need to stop celebrating and having fun!

Among the many activities at the Pumpkin Festival, you can partake in Apple and Pumpkin Picking at the local orchard and pumpkin patch! Pick your fruit — which come in all sorts of fun shapes and sizes — and show us what you make!

Which brings us to the most important part of gathering all of those pumpkins and apples! A Community Potluck! Bring by your dishes and your recipes to share and swap with everyone!

GIANT WATERMELON REMOVED FROM TOWN SQUARE BY FLASH FLOODING

By Timothy Stoker

Welp. There it goes.

Coming to you just a bit late after the weather kerfuffle back in August--- the giant watermelon, which seemed to never rot and replenish itself overnight, that had been taking up a substantial amount of space in town square throughout the summer has at last been removed. As much as this reporter hoped to see it defeated by us banding together and eating the blasted thing once and for all, it seems this fate is not to be.

During the flash flooding which occurred toward the end of August, fast-moving waters rolled the building-sized watermelon down the streets of town, causing incredibly sticky property damage and scattering stray fruit everywhere. It then tumbled down to the beach, where it drifted out to sea. There it remains, floating aimlessly in the water surrounding the island where it is enjoyed by seagulls as a social gathering space. No one has been able to figure out what to do about it, so for the time being, it will serve as a humorous welcome wagon for any incoming residents. If anyone has thoughts on what can be done about Watermelon Island, please contact Mayor Poe's office with tips.

Thank you for reading!

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Further Details...

Pumpkinfest!

Pumpkin Hollow’s premiere holiday! In celebration of the harvest of the crop that gave this town its name, this seasonal fair technically is only supposed to take place in October, but whatever, time is soup and fairs are fun! Here are all the activities available for the month(s):

• Pumpkin Carving - Carve a Jack-o-Lantern outside Greymare Library, then place your work of veggie art along the library steps, or take it home! Maybe you and your neighbor can discuss designs.
• Wood Cutting Contests - Test your strength, speed, and skill in this race to chop up a stump faster than your opponent. The only prize is bragging rights and a fun little ribbon, but the firewood is donated to a family in need!
• Local Music - Dance the night away to local favorites and offworld acts alike, or volunteer to play for the crowd yourself. Additionally, mixed in with the other acts is yet another group of interdimensional visitors who didn’t show up by Ferry. Sometimes, towards the end of the night, you may find that the Sanderson Sisters take the stage to put a spell on you--- will you overcome the bewitching boogie, or dance ‘till you die? Employ teamwork, clever tricks, and dice rolls to decide. There’s no specific value to hit with dice rolls, so you can just use your best judgement and do whatever is fun.
• Smiling Jack’s Haunted Comedy Club - Those who have been around for a while may recall Smiling Jack, the subject of a Pumpkin Hollow legend who became a tangible menace two Halloweens ago. He has since been reduced to bottled pumpkin guts with a talking Jack-o-Lantern face, but has somehow managed to open a comedy club. Grab a hard apple cider and enjoy the macabre and hilarious comedy stylings of Smiling Jack himself, as well as a few other interdimensional visitors such as Elvira, Svengoolie, Wolfman Mac, and the like! Or volunteer to tell a few jokes, yourself. This particular crowd likes their humor a little dark. ‘Tis the season! (Also, if you’re interested in the context behind Smiling Jack, check out our first Halloween meme for Dahlia’s rendition of his origin story, located in Further Details under “Ghost Stories.” Mind the content warnings!)
• Food and Drinks - Of course, what festival is complete without street food? Roasted corn on the cob, caramel apples, pumpkin kebabs, and more will be available! Feel free to consider this part of your grocery budget or food vouchers, meaning there’s no in-game currency cost for enjoying the food. There’s also plenty of drinks to enjoy---- beer, wine, cider (alcoholic and non-alcoholic), hot cocoa, and a Marrow Isle recreation of the famous pumpkin spice latte!
• And more! - Feel free to just come up with other fairgrounds activities. Just make sure they stay setting-appropriate!

Rebuilding Efforts

The major plot event from August caused a great deal of property damage around Pumpkin Hollow. Tornados, flood water, and extreme temperatures hit rapid fire, and many homes, businesses, and municipal buildings were impacted, as well as crops from farms. It’s all hands on deck to try and get things patched up before the next thing that goes spooky and terribly wrong in Pumpkin Hollow--- the town needs your help!

Extant players are welcome to create toplevels directing helpful characters to their damaged homes, but there are also plenty of public spaces and NPC homes to help out with. Your help means a lot!

Also, we like to present new arrivals with opportunities to make a little extra pocket change to get them started. For the months that this TDM runs (September, October, and November) any new character that participates in a rebuild thread during the month they apply can get an extra 300 Brass when they turn in their first AC, provided the thread reaches bonus length as described on our Activity Check rules. This is only applicable for the AC taking place in the same month one apps in, can be applied to new characters apped in by extant players, and threads can occur between two new characters or one new character and one extant character. (The extant character does not earn the bonus.) This bonus can only be used once.

Example, for clarity: you TDM a new character in September and reach a thread length of 10 comments by the end of the month, then you app in said character by the end of September. When you go to turn in September AC, which will be that character's first, notate that you are eligible to claim an extra 300B on your AC post. You may not claim this bonus for the same character in October or November. You may not claim this bonus if you app in a later month, unless you achieve 10 tags specifically in the month in which you apped. You may not claim this bonus on a character that was already a game member, as this bonus is specifically an incentive for new characters. Please ask in the threads below if you have questions!

BJ and Associates

In Fall’s Promise Cemetery, whose entrance is located on the path down toward the beach from town, one will find the colorful dead from the iconic “waiting room scene” from Beetlejuice hosting an oddities fair! For those unfamiliar, oddities fairs are sort of a modern (and more tasteful) “freak circus”. They showcase unusual taxidermy and other unorthodox works of art, medical curiosities, unusual antiques and curios, jewelry and other items made of teeth and bone, extreme body modification, and performances of uncommon talents such as contortion, fire-eating, sword swallowing, or other circus arts. They’re a lot of fun, but not for the faint of heart, especially when hosted by visibly dead and mangled people! Be generous with content warnings! Attendees will walk away with a free copy of the Handbook for the Recently Deceased as a souvenir.

Additionally, the titular Ghost with the Most from the aforementioned Halloween classic is our scam artist. As mentioned, he will be attempting to get people to say his name three times in a row, which will allow him to escape the cemetery and live it up for the next 6 hours--- and you’re tied to him, so you have to go along! Drag your friends into it, get busted getting up to no good, wingman for BJ or have him wingman for you (badly). Eat, drink, and be scary!

Beetlejuice himself is a prop NPC, meaning that his actual interaction with the thread can be handwaved or written by one or both players in a given thread. Players with Beetlejuice journals should feel free to play him if they’d like--- even if there’s already another one kicking around. Multiple versions (film, cartoon, musical) are all fine. It’s just for fun, after all! Happy Halloween!

Haunted House

An unfamiliar house has popped up in Pumpkin Hollow! Perhaps it seems familiar--- this is another visitor from a Halloween favorite!

Per the film, the Monster House is possessed by an angry human spirit who is not particularly fond of anyone, but especially not children. The spirit can manipulate the house itself, the surrounding trees, and the lawn as if they were its own body, with the door functioning as a mouth, the main hall as a throat, and the furnace as a heart. It will make attempts to lure in unwitting humans to devour them by stealing their things.

Those consumed by the Monster House, interestingly, do not die--- at least, not right away. They will be held in the basement. When the house is asleep (and it does indeed sleep), you may be able to explore a bit more if you’re careful and quiet. And of course, if you get desperate, there is always the hanging lamp in the front hall --- just make sure to note content warnings for emetophobia!

Additionally, the house is quite lonely without its original tenant, who was very dear to it. Perhaps some friendly and patient folks can give this restless spirit some closure and company, and console it about its dramatic canon end. Who knows? Maybe by the end of this TDM’s run, the house will be a source of harmless mischief rather than genuine terror. Just don’t vandalize it!

Creature in the Woods
[CW: gore, cults, unreality, hypnosis, mind control. Also, googling the monster will result in images featuring body horror and headlessness.]

Last on our lineup of visitors from spooky modern IPs is Moder, the jötunn hiding a cult in the woods of Northern Sweden in the film “The Ritual.”

For those who have not seen the film, but plan to, the spoiler-free version of what you need to know is this: the creature in the woods is massive, and old, and shockingly stealthy for its size. It cannot leave the woods, but while you are in its domain, it only wants two things from you--- despair and blood. Moder can access your memories, especially traumatic ones, and can cause hallucinations where these memories haunt you and cause you to act in ways that are out of touch with reality and difficult for those around you to understand. Then, when you are feeling your lowest, it will mangle your body and use it to decorate the trees of Lockwood Forest. Why do the bodies stay, you might ask? Aren’t they meant to disappear? The answer is yes, they do disappear.

But only if they aren’t being watched.

For those familiar (or who simply don’t mind the spoilers), a refresher course.

Moder loves to be worshipped. To its previous cult members, it was seen as a loving god who could offer eternal life and protection for those who didn’t mind a bit of human sacrifice. The same remains true, though immortality isn’t exactly as valuable here as it was back home. So what can Moder offer you here?

How about the inability to die in the first place?

For those who are marked by a set of puncture wounds on the chest as one of Moder’s chosen, if they are willing to worship their new god and aid in the sacrifice of their neighbors, they will become completely unkillable until Moder’s departure at the end of November. For players who are members, this will come especially in handy for upcoming events… but are you willing to accept the price? Especially when your victims will come back the following day?

Those who reject being chosen by Moder will, of course, face its wrath. It won’t kill you, because it still wants to try and force you to worship, but it will torment you relentlessly with nightmares, unreality, hallucinations, and non-lethal violence. You are left with only two choices--- submit, or escape.

U-Pick Fall Crops & Potlucks

Let’s end on a lighter note, shall we?

Farms around Pumpkin Hollow are open for self-pick apples and pumpkins! Both food-pumpkins and carving-pumpkins are available, as well as apples of all sorts. Be sure to stop by Starr Orchard for some of their delicious “ghost apples”--- bright white apples (with some pink freckling) that are extra sweet and crisp. Great for baking! And be sure to leave some berries for the Mr. Mime who tends the trees. Other varieties of apples will also be available throughout Northwest Hollow.

Which is great, because the grounds outside the Temple of Sacred Roots will be hosting fall treat potlucks every weekend throughout autumn! Bring whatever you make with your pumpkins and apples, along with any other fall delights, out for a delicious sampler. Excellent for cultural exchanges and making new friends!

Pokémon

Each season, new types of Pokémon can be found in nature around the island! They cannot be captured as the technology does not exist on Marrow Isle, but they can be befriended and kept as pets. Since there is no PC, each person can have no more than six. You can befriend any Pokémon who has at least one type that matches the list at the top of the newspaper, or that can evolve into one. (Eevee can be caught in any season.) Legendaries are off limits for obvious reasons, and mythicals can be encountered for fun but not kept! Evolutionary stones can be found in Paradesium, the magical subterranean jungle beneath the mountain to the North. Every type will be available at some point throughout the year, so if you don’t have access to your fave yet, check back next season!

Comments

[gooddefense]

North is honestly glad she did, because now he can use it to cut the tension. Maybe get some of the old Natasha back, before the weight of everything flattened them both.

Taking the half empty glass, North lifts it to eye level. "Ah, behold! I am blessed with a generous gift from my ever-charitable and gracious sister! A half a glass of warm, cheap beer! Whatever have I done to deserve such kindness?"

[ownperson]

She doesn't want to laugh. She wants to stay angry, she wants to make him see her for what she is, wants to bite and snarl and be the bitch everyone expects her to be—

But right now her walls are thin, and the corner of her mouth quirks for a second before she snorts in a way that's distinctly a laugh, this time. She kicks his shin under the table, not hard enough to hurt.

"...y'gonna drink it or not, smartass? Still better than anything we were drinking the last couple years."

[gooddefense]

Snorting, North kicks back. Ahh, there she is.

"Sure, why not. Cheers." He knocks it back, and it really isn't as bad as some of the crap they were drinking the last couple of years. Like something from a microbrewery or something. Man, maybe this old timey business isn't all bad after all.

[ownperson]

South shakes her head at him and immediately regrets doing so when it makes her kind of dizzy. She slumps back in her chair and rubs at her temple with one hand. Fuck if this isn't going to be a hell of a hangover tomorrow.

"See? Told you," she says. "...be nice to not worry about food so much, I guess."

There's no way they were eating enough for two people their size, with how little money they had to go around. Odd jobs and stealing only nets so much and MREs are only nominally food in the first place.

[gooddefense]

"Oh my god, no shit. Do you know I turned in my meal voucher, and they just gave me a whole tiny rotisserie chicken? It was the smallest chicken ever, but they just let me have the whole damn thing. And there were potatoes and carrots with it. I feel full for the first time in probably years. Insane."

Man's got his priorities.

[ownperson]

A smile pulls at the corner of her lips again, despite herself. She... hasn't actually eaten yet, despite bringing it up, and isn't going to point it out for him to fuss over her about. She'll get to it. Eventually.

"Right? Practically eating like fucking kings. And we don't even have to sleep on the ground nearly every goddamn night. Lap of fuckin' luxury."

[gooddefense]

"Right? The tavern was already fine, but they got me moving to my own place this weekend, since I took up some work. You decide what you're doing yet?"

[ownperson]

South looks at the beer glasses, then back at North, like this is an answer in and of itself. "Not in the fucking slightest."

Of course he's already started getting his life together while she's here drinking herself numb. Of fucking course he has.

She rubs at her temple again, trying to massage away a headache that's not even really there yet. "What'd you pick?"

[gooddefense]

"I think I want to start a farm," North muses, settling back in his chair. "Something I can do at my own pace, you know? Work I can do with my hands." He looks over to her, a glimmer of hope on that dumb, clueless, eager face of his. "Wanna come?"

[ownperson]

A farm. City kid from a shitty little Outer Colony, starting a farm. It's absurd, in her head. Almost impossible to picture. And yet he already looks so... excited, about it. It makes the sharp words about that perceived ridiculousness die on the tip of her tongue, mouth already half-way to open.

"...don't think I'm exactly farmer material," she says, restrained.

But there is a part of her, raw and aching and lonely, that almost wants to say yes. The last few months have been so painfully empty, blurring together into one long stream of alcohol and running and alcohol and sleeping. She won't sleep any better in a nice inn room than in a shitty motel. Not with no one else there, no sounds of life close enough to touch.

But if he wants the truth— then what? What happens when he gets it and he reacts the way he should react?

"But I guess I could. Like. Come and stay. Maybe."

[gooddefense]

"We'd figure it out. We always do." He nudges her again, fondly. "Besides, it'd be too quiet in an old farmhouse by myself, without your loud ass. But yeah, do your own thing, get your own job. Good chance to start fresh, try new things. I just want you to hang out with me in between."

She does want to, doesn't she? Why does this feel like a sales pitch? Why is he so terrified of her saying no?

[ownperson]

"Does it really count as hanging out when we're fuckin' related?" is a joke, even as dry as it is. A little bit more of her normal self (her old self) poking through.

She shuffles in her seat, an edge of nerves there that she rarely displays. It's going to blow up in her face. She'll say yes, and then he'll ask her to tell him the truth again, and she will, because she's a fucking idiot, and then he'll hate her and never want to look at her again and—

"Sure, why the fuck not. Be stupid leaving you in a big house on your own."

[gooddefense]

"What else would you call it? Babysitting?" His nose crinkles as he grins and recoils, preparing for her to hit him.

The nerves are obvious. They tip him off that something's wrong. But there's no point in pressing for details now. He wants to know, but... also he doesn't? (What are you so afraid of, North?) Maybe he just will conveniently forget to ask later. It's a new life, right? Maybe if both of them can pretend nothing is wrong then eventually nothing will be wrong.

"Good! And you can help me decide what kinda veggies to plant. I'm thinking a fuckload of potatoes, and maybe broccoli. Can't start till next year, really, unless I put up a greenhouse. But maybe I'll get some animals, too."

[ownperson]

Right on cue, she kicks him under the table again, just a little sharper this time and rolls her eyes at him. "Not unless you want me to kick your ass, asshole."

It's familiar. It's agonising. It makes her want to scream at him and it makes her want to cling to him and never let go.

"Do you even know how to handle animals?" she asks, though it's more snark than a real question. "But yeah, sure, okay, just, y'know, when I'm not... uh." She holds up a hand to try and count how many drinks she's had, gets past the first hand and immediately gives up. "However many drinks in. I don't fucking know don't ask."

[gooddefense]

"Not a clue! I'll figure it out. Read some books, I guess. Ask the neighbors." He shrugs. "I'll probably start small. Chickens, y'know? Imagine having fresh eggs every morning."

"For real, though," he starts, after an awkward pause, "you should have some water. You're gonna feel like shit tomorrow, and there's probably no Tylenol here."

[ownperson]

Chickens almost sounds manageable. Maybe. God, she doesn't fucking know, what the fuck are they doing, why are they in this place where people still have actual self-run farms and all this other stupid old-timey shit—

"I'll be fucking fine. I've done worse."

Yeah, this isn't a reassuring response, is it?

[gooddefense]

"Sure, but that doesn't mean you have to. C'mon, you knucklehead, you get to help me househunt tomorrow and I don't want to hear you bellyaching about your head all day," he teases, getting up. "I'm coming back with water and food. What do you want to eat?"

[ownperson]

She grunts noncommittally and scrunches up her face about it, but there's going to be no talking him out of it, so. Fine. "Ugh, I dunno. Surprise me."

It's possible she has not even looked at what's available in detail.

[gooddefense]

"Jellied eel it is!" He stands up, heading to the bar, walking quickly in case she decides to kick him again. Or throw something.

However, he decides not to torment her and instead returns with a plate full of savory little hand-pies for them to split and two carefully-managed glasses of water. "Before you kick my ass, it's not eel. It's venison."

[ownperson]

Jellied fucking— what? South opens her mouth, but he's gone across the room before she finds any words at all, so she just slumps back and waits for him to return with— whatever. It doesn't look like something you'd put eels in, but she still eyes them dubiously before she picks one up.

"That's— deer, right?" Guess that's fine. Begrudgingly, she even takes one of the glasses of water and starts sipping at it.

[gooddefense]

"Yup! Lady at the counter said it's pretty good." Once everything's on the table, he plops back into his chair. "Have we had deer before? I can't remember."

Before South can answer, a weird, floating, purple pumpkin bat... thing drifts up to the table and lands on the other side. It's cheeks are puffed out like it's holding its breath.

"Oh--- you're back!" North knows this thing? "Whatcha been up to, bud?"

Unceremoniously, the creature opens its mouth and allows a bunch of wild nuts and berries to plop onto the table. Incredible. Laughing, North brings a hand to his face and shakes his head. "Okay. Thank you, Theta."

[ownperson]

South blinks several times, mouth hanging open where she was probably about to take a bite of one of the pies before being thoroughly distracted by the strange little— pumpkin? Thing? Floating up onto their table? Do they have to shoo this thing away, or—

Wait, what? North knows it? North— oh you've got to be fucking kidding.

"...yeah I don't think any of that's edible," spills out, first, before she snaps back to it enough to ask: "What the fuck is that thing? Did you seriously adopt a fuckin'— possessed pumpkin and name it after your fucking lightbulb?"

[gooddefense]

North actually sours at this. He'd been pretty jovial up till now, despite the persistent tension, but this genuinely makes him a little angry with her. "He's one of the little fantasy critters running around here. It's no different than the little alien animals we'd see sometimes. And I've told you a million times, South, quit calling him a lightbulb."

[ownperson]

"It's what he fucking is." That's pushing her luck, she knows it's pushing her luck, but her mouth is hardly under her total control at the best of times and this is decidedly not the best of times. "He even gets brighter when he thinks he has a cool idea for fuck's sake."

She bites the inside of her cheek. God, she does not know how to shut the fuck up—

"—the real deal's not here, is he?"

In hindsight, it's obvious. By now the little shit usually would've projected, or at least distracted North with an internal conversation that made her feel like an outsider. Like Theta always came first.

[gooddefense]

"Hey, fuck off," he barks. "Theta's a lot more than that and you know it. Whatever your damage is with him, save it."

Ah, there's the elephant in the room. (One of them, anyway.) Theta. The original. North reaches forward to pet the AI's namesake, fingers curling into black fur as he munches on his treasures and tries to scoot a few of them over to North.

"No. Of course not. AI can't really... die like humans can. And even if getting destroyed could count, I'm--- pretty sure he was taken, not broken."