Neo put the tea in her hands but she drank it of her own free will. The guilt of not being enough didn't start with Neo, it started with the real fates of every face she puppeted to push Ruby closer and closer to that edge. The desire to be someone better or, if not that, then to at least stop being there to make everything worse was all her own. Nothing those dead voices had to say was any worse than the things she'd thought about herself. That's why it worked.
Ruby didn't (doesn't?) want to be Ruby, anymore. Neo just gave her the means and opportunity.
"I—" don't know. Dimitri's right. Sometimes, there really are no words. Not that it stops Ruby from trying to summon them anyway. "...most of the time I'm not sure how to even talk about it. I've told people, but— but everyone understands a different part of it best, you know, a-and either way it's— it's all so far away now we're here but I can't— I can't shake it off. I-I guess no one could just shake it off, but... there's nothing I can do from here, you know? Nothing except keep my side of the deal."
Make a life. Forge a path. One step at a time. It feels near impossible and yet with every familiar or friendly face it's a little less so.
"...sometimes it's like I'm— like I'm still there. Or like— like I can hear or see—" Penny, mostly it's Penny, "...things I didn't actually hear or see. I wish that would stop."
cw: reference to suicide and suicide baiting/psychological torture
It killed her.
Neo put the tea in her hands but she drank it of her own free will. The guilt of not being enough didn't start with Neo, it started with the real fates of every face she puppeted to push Ruby closer and closer to that edge. The desire to be someone better or, if not that, then to at least stop being there to make everything worse was all her own. Nothing those dead voices had to say was any worse than the things she'd thought about herself. That's why it worked.
Ruby didn't (doesn't?) want to be Ruby, anymore. Neo just gave her the means and opportunity.
"I—" don't know. Dimitri's right. Sometimes, there really are no words. Not that it stops Ruby from trying to summon them anyway. "...most of the time I'm not sure how to even talk about it. I've told people, but— but everyone understands a different part of it best, you know, a-and either way it's— it's all so far away now we're here but I can't— I can't shake it off. I-I guess no one could just shake it off, but... there's nothing I can do from here, you know? Nothing except keep my side of the deal."
Make a life. Forge a path. One step at a time. It feels near impossible and yet with every familiar or friendly face it's a little less so.
"...sometimes it's like I'm— like I'm still there. Or like— like I can hear or see—" Penny, mostly it's Penny, "...things I didn't actually hear or see. I wish that would stop."