"No, you've got the structure wrong. I awoke, escaped where I was being held in captivity, and had to counter several different problems at once. Discovering the truth of what occurred to me was only one of them - one cannot take revenge properly without knowing their target."

Sipping the coffee again, she notes her hands are warm.

"I embraced violence, but I was not mindless. Many things could be fixed or attended to with the right words, the right actions. And I would not have been able to keep companions if I had not shown some degree of sense. We had all fallen under the same infection, after all. Only, they still had their memories, so I knew it was not that which plagued me."

She's jumping around, she knows. But she has to make sure they understand.

"Why should I be proud of what came before? I know it is contemptible. I know what was done was and is abhorrent. But I cannot find it in myself to mourn or feel grief. If I say to you I did not enjoy it, that would be a lie."