When you feel ready—when will she feel ready? Will admitting to everyone what really happened, that the cracks grew until she shattered, that she gave up, ever be something she feels ready to do? They wouldn't judge her, no, that's not what she's scared of; she's scared of the way they'd care, the way they'd fuss, the way they'd try to reassure her. In some ways, it's all she's ever wanted from both of her families; in others, it's the most terrifying thing she could ever face.
"...I-I was at home, for a few days," she does say, because that's not something she intends to hide. "I don't know how. I-I guess what we were told on the ship isn't— isn't as simple as that. But I was home. And things aren't— they didn't get any better."
cw: vague reference to suicide
When you feel ready—when will she feel ready? Will admitting to everyone what really happened, that the cracks grew until she shattered, that she gave up, ever be something she feels ready to do? They wouldn't judge her, no, that's not what she's scared of; she's scared of the way they'd care, the way they'd fuss, the way they'd try to reassure her. In some ways, it's all she's ever wanted from both of her families; in others, it's the most terrifying thing she could ever face.
"...I-I was at home, for a few days," she does say, because that's not something she intends to hide. "I don't know how. I-I guess what we were told on the ship isn't— isn't as simple as that. But I was home. And things aren't— they didn't get any better."