Well slap River's ass and call her a - actually no she's gonna say this one out loud.

"Slap my ass and call me a bonefucker, what's the occasion?" River gestures at her General Facial Region. "You won't catch me putting on the formal paint for anything less than a funeral, Mister...?"

(Off to the side one of River's apprentices is trying very hard not to die laughing while forging bullets. Somehow no matter how often she sees something weird and immediately slaps it like a cat detecting a new thing they never get used to it.)