Kavinsky offered a little smile. "I hope so." He didn't even know if he would live long enough to find out, but it was nice to not feel like he was alone in this. Even back home, surrounded by his boys, he felt alone more often than not.

Snorting out a bitter laugh, he took a fortifying sip of his drink. "He was shocked when I told him I wanted him. Not because I wanted him, but because I had the audacity to think he might actually want me, too." He could still hear Ronan's voice bouncing through his brain, it was never going to be you and me.

"He wrecked his best friend's car trying to beat me. I helped him fix it, 'cause it was clearly important to him, and he fucking used me. He got what he needed and he just left." He scrubbed a hand over his face. "He was so worried Dick would disown him for wrecking his car, I didn't think it was fair. I thought he was worth more than a car." Though, admittedly, Kavinsky was far less attached to his Mitsubishi than Gansey apparently was with his Camaro, but he still thought it was wild to value a car over a person.

"And that's not even the worst of it."