A funny thing can happen when a large chunk of your emotions get ripped out of you. Like clearing away a tangled overgrowth to expose the seedlings underneath, other, more pleasant things start to surface.

Are they feelings, too? Gaeta isn't quite sure. In an academic way, he's noticed that Pyotr didn't tear everything out of him. What's left behind is blunted, yes. But not gone like the grief is gone.

As Neil plays, Gaeta smokes a cigarette and watches with an almost dreamlike appreciation. There's no awkwardness or anxiety left like there was at Merrymeet. None of that self-deprecating embarrassment over feeling like a teenager at a school dance. Just this: Neil looks good.